Gerka, you might want to read that entire series if you haven't already. Most of it doesn't apply directly to your situation, but there's probably a lot of insight and principles that you can apply with some thought:

If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.