Hi Gerka,

Her last email indicates that at this moment, she is not wanting to recover any sort of M with you.

The question that is yours and yours only is,

how much more effort and pain are you willing to put forth to recover a M with WW?

What do you believe is in your best interest?
Sometimes this is best thought about by trying to remove your emotions and looking at a
situation logically. I believe that you can do this.

Originally Posted by Gerkaguards
So the MB consensus is that this marriage isn't worth persuing any further?

It really doesn't matter what the MB consensus is, this is your life, not ours.
You are the main character in all of this, we are simply the props to guide you in the direction that you wish to go and to give pointers as to how to get there.

And ..... we are here to support you as long as you need us. That's a given!

We can't make your decisions regarding which direction to take your life, that would be a disservice to you.
You are capable of weighing out the short and long term effects of R or D and it is you that will have to cope with them, not us.
What we can do is give you what we have learned, and hopefully from that, help you see your
situation more clearly.

I can tell you from my experience, R from adultery, is one of the hardest things I have ever had to endure.
My FWH has been a willing participant in our R since d-day, he has worked very hard to change his thinking and his actions, ..... and it has still been difficult.

Triggers have set me back, bouts of pre A behaviour by him, insecurity of his sincerity to R (this can be real or percieved), the list goes on and on.

How are we doing, almost 2yrs. post d-day, we are getting there slowly.

It takes a committed WS to make a BS feel safe again.
A committed WS will continue to do whatever it takes to restore the M.
Those are big shoes to fill, as they should be.

Just in case you may get it in your head that your Plan A was not good enough, throw that out, now.
You have always given her the impression that you were willing to rebuild your M, that your vows to her were solid and that you were a safe place to land back at.


M'd 22 years
D-Day 08/08 LTA