and dkd,

I am feeling tremendously better since seeing the therapist and also about getting the job interview. I'm feeling like I have the option to become self-reliant and not depend on him financially. Or have him hang over my head _again_ how _he_ went to work and _he_ earned all of the money and _I_ did nothing.

Well, I'm doing something and I'm going to become the best version of myself -- without him!

Also, I'm starting to think about dating. We've been seperated since last June. Before that, it wasn't like everything was real. I sort of lingered around waiting for him to say whether or not this was really happening. It was, I had just been in denial because of all of the changes that were coming with it. I didn't want my kids to feel it. I guess telling them was sort of a release for me. I told my son it was okay to like someone his father dated or if I dated someone and he liked them. I told him I probably wouldn't date in the near future and he told me I should. Go figure...

Anyway, things are looking up