I'm doing ok, just been busy. The 2x4's weren't to hard,and I thank you for the reality check, I needed it!

I'm going to my sister's tomorrow for a sister's only, no kids day and night. I'm happy to report MB prinicpals were used. H wasn't that thrilled with me going but we POJAed and things worked out. YEA!!!

How are you doing?

Prayer request....DD has court tomorrow as SOB SIL is appealing protetive order. Please pray that it isn't overturned.

H left a week ago for storm work in LA. I sure do miss him. It's been busy around here with work and preparing for 2 court hearings this week.

I've learned more about DD's abusive situation and it makes my stomach sick.

Thursday is her custody hearing which I'm sure is going to be nerve racking and probably appealed. She was served with a show cause order Thursday as to not following 'during week' visitation. That was MY fault because of SIL's intimidation the last visitation. I know I'll have to answer to judge for that....I hope it doesn't come back on her. Please pray for her to have justice.

My life is so filled with distress at this time I feel it is distractful to others on the forums that deserve the support to rebuild their marriages or take whatever road they need to, that I am saying goodbye. I'm not in a state of mind to help others at this time which unfortunately so many need.

So with sadness in my heart I want to say goodbye to MB and all the folks here. I thank each of you for the support shown me and wish you well with your lives.

Take care friends.

mvg I am so sorry to hear this . I am guessing that yesterday did not go so well.

Please don't leave. You do not need to help others. I know that you have not told your children about your H's EA, have you told anyone? I think you could use at least someone to talk to things about even if it is just on a forum.

Please at least think about it. If not take care my freind and thank you for all of your advice through my receovery journey. I will never forget it.

mvg,
You aren't distracting me!

My personal recovery is going well. I'm finally filing for divorce, moving on and accepting. Now, if I had left when my life was in turmoil, I wouldn't have had the support I needed, and could have sunk into depression, not being able to vent, and get the kicks in the pants I needed :twobyfour:

I hope that you just take a hiatus; take some time to work on the marriage, don't focus on other peoples' problems here, focus on yours, and move forward. There is plenty of room on these boards for you, mvg.

It does sound like things are not going in favor of your daughter. I had hoped for better results for you. Remember, it's all part of a bigger picture, a process, which takes time to unfold. I know that's probably not all that comforting right now, but your family will get to the other side of this.

SC & SL, thank you for your kind words. The reason I said I was leaving is...are you ready????? Think twice it's LONG.

Actually the court hearing (Monday) did go well, protective order stays in place for 2 yrs. SOB SIL's mother admitted on the stand he said he'd kill DD.

Custody hearing was delayed due to overbooking of court docket. We return on Oct. 3. The court did change visitation to unsupervised every other weekend until Oct. 3 because SIL has/in process of fulfilling all social services requirements. DD's attorney presented SIL with an generous reasonable visitation schedule which they declined. SIL wants either full custody or shared (splitting weekdays 3 days with her 4 with him, etc.) His mother is not going to 'push' for custody unless he doesn't get what he wants per Guardian Ad Litem.

Guardian Ad Litem is well......a ditz and EASILY charmed by any man in my observation of her. She came to inspect our home the night before court. She said she would/will? agree to shared custody because she's never seen a father wanting to spend so much time with his children! HELLO??????????? If he's with the kids he's NOT working to support them! Not to even mention the domestic violence under advisement/conviction AND child abuse even if that wasn't prosecuted!!!! SIL has proposed he wants to pickup children when daughter is in school at night and keep the kids overnight each time. He will take off work to pickup or keep children if/when they go to daycare while she is doing clinicals for nursing during the day. WHEN DOES COMMON SENSE COME INTO THE PICTURE? Also he wouldn't have to pay for daycare since it's SCHOOLING not working. Ok, it's fine for her to have the gov't pay food and medical, he can take off work (self employed) to keep the kids AND she'll be penalized for TRYING to make a better self-sufficent LIFE????? IMO her options are became a FULL welfare mom and keep her kids, or get no assistance. IT DOESN"T MAKE SENSE. There are so many other issues that are just as crazy I won't even go there.

My head is spinning. I feel physically sick. My H has been gone for over 2 weeks. I'm triggering like heck and wasn't so kind the other day on the phone with him. There are alot of crews in LA. They are all VERY tired working 16 hours a day, NOT doing storm work (UGH), no day off BUT get a bunch of guys together (tired or not) and what do you have???? Drinking and carousing. But of course my H isn't one of them...nah he's behaving like a saint. He's not drinking with the guys like a frat party, he hasn't gone to any T-bars...nah. He isn't looking/finding any redhead with big t's to keep him comfy. Maybe, maybe not?! TRIGGERING BIG TIME!

I feel alone in a crowd. I'm screaming inside myself. I feel like I'm losing any sanity I had left. I feel like I'm having a breakdown and I don't have time for that. I'm taking anxiety meds and AD's. Thank heavens because as much as they aren't strong enough right now if I had nothing I wouldn't be here, ya know?!

I'm also having a VERY hard time with myself spiritually. I (as I'm sure most moms do) promised my kids from day 1 I would lay my life down for them, I would never let anyone hurt them, I would protect them, I'm struggling with that. I can't keep that promise and it I feel I am letting her down and very selfish. I believe in heaven and he11 and I don't want to go to he11.

I'm falling apart.

So there my friends is a glance at my life and mind. Not a pretty place.

After all that do you think I should stay here? I vent here that's about it.

(((Mvg,)))

I am sorry you are having a rough time. When I read your post on the Vacation thread I tought you were leaving just to get a break, now I see that is not the case.



All of that is exactly why you should stay here. Vent away and release it. There are people here who have BTDT and can help you get through this.

I would suggest starting a new thread titled "Someone please help me get through these triggers" or something like that.

There are so many people here who are here to pay it forward because they were in your shoes at one point.

LC

mvg i agree with LC 120%! :twobyfour: over.

I have not BTDT as far as what specifically you are going through but i have BTDT as far as how far down i got because it seems that life just never stops throwing me curve balls no matter how hard i try to be a good person etc.

I have been TRIGGERING BAD as well because H has had my ex-nephew-in-law at the house for the last couple of weekends (weekends only) but we went to pick him up both times So not only do i blame the XNIL living at our house for part of the reason me and H sort of "grew apart" a little (hence h having an A) but he also lives about 2 blocks away from where FOW lived and where her and H spent most of their time during the A .

I am trying to let it go because he is still showing me that he loves me and he even realized that it would trigger me and took a different route to go pick him up so we would not pass her old place. If your H is still SHOWING you then you need to try to believe him (believe me i know that is easier said than done).

I can't help as far as the DD goes as i have not BTDT, but you have helped her so much. You can not make the CHOICES of what happens to the grand children. It is out of your hands and it is no fault of yours what happens.

Well i will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers