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Yep. Textbook. She was clearly still cake-eating and is clearly still deeply fogged up. She'll come around. Almost every one of them does. This is HERS to own. At least she shouldn't have to finish her last few days at work, right?
Me:BW, FWH 1DD 1DS Status: Chronicled in Dr. Suess's "The Zax"
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Wife says she can't face anyone now and is moving out..... No she wont. Do not listen to anything she says right now. Remain calm, polite, and respectfull.
Me 34 WW 30 Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08. Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08 The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
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WW just called, FLAILING.....
Said I totally embarrassed her, and I could have waited the few days until she left...
GF came in, called my wife a bunch of names, screaming at the OM,told him to pack his stuff, got herself thrown out....
Wife says she can't face anyone now and is moving out..... So now EVERYONE at their workplace knows ....GOOD!
Wife is embarrassed because she's been messing with another woman's man, and everyone knows.
She's not gonna move out.
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A little insight as to her saying she's moving out.
She has hurt herself (tho she wouldn't admit it to Jesus right now). She is lashing out in order to hurt someone (anyone) as much as she is hurting. It is not logical, but it is textbook waynerd.
I thought I'd tell you this in case you were doubting yourself right now.
I give you two thumbs up today, JCB.
I never had to take the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?O'hana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. My Story Recovered!
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Even if she "moves out," which is highly unlikely, chalk it up to a short-lived, teenage-style temper-tantrum. You'll be glad you did this in the long run. My bet is they were still active, given the GF's response. She's horrified cuz you saw through her and busted her.
Me:BW, FWH 1DD 1DS Status: Chronicled in Dr. Suess's "The Zax"
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Keep it up JCB, you are doing well my friend and listen to what the vets have to say. They know what they are talking about.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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WW just called, FLAILING.....
Said I totally embarrassed her, and I could have waited the few days until she left...
GF came in, called my wife a bunch of names, screaming at the OM,told him to pack his stuff, got herself thrown out....
Wife says she can't face anyone now and is moving out..... Again? Didn't she say she was moving out last week when you interfered with her affair? Hard to keep all these idle threats straight! ![grin grin](/ubbt/images/graemlins/default/grin.gif) Just be calm and supportive while she deals with the fall out of her affair. Don't let her upset you, you did nothing wrong. She will calm down. Hang tight, you did a great job!!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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jcb,
You have just been promoted to dragon(affair) slayer!!
Good Job!!!!!!!!!!
All Blessings, Jerry
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I would think she no longer feels obligated to put in the final 7 days of her resignation at this point.
Jerry
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WW just called, FLAILING.....
Said I totally embarrassed her, and I could have waited the few days until she left...
GF came in, called my wife a bunch of names, screaming at the OM,told him to pack his stuff, got herself thrown out....
Wife says she can't face anyone now and is moving out..... You mean...GF went to the workplace and...caused a scene??? ![hurray hurray](/ubbt/images/graemlins/default/hurray.gif) That is just too perfect - are you sure you didn't pay her? ![laugh laugh](/ubbt/images/graemlins/default/laugh.gif) That couldn't have been more perfect! You done good, jcb. Now remain calm. The tsunami has just begun. Remember Regan in the Exorcist, when she was possessed and all that nastiness was coming out of her mouth? It was because the Priest was pulling the demon out of her. You're pulling out the demon. It may get ugly, but it's necessary. Stay calm and steadfast.
D-Day 2-10-2009 Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever! Thank you Marriage Builders!
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I would think she no longer feels obligated to put in the final 7 days of her resignation at this point.
Jerry Ya think ![rotflmao rotflmao](/ubbt/images/graemlins/default/roflmao.gif)
Me 34 WW 30 Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08. Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08 The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
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The GF just called me, she wants to meet me in person tonight.....???
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The GF just called me, she wants to meet me in person tonight.....??? I say yes. I met with OWH one time. To cross examine each others evidence.
He knew stuff i did not. And, visa versa.
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[quote=jcb]The GF just called me, she wants to meet me in person tonight.....??? [/quote
What is your comfort level on that? OWH wanted to meet me, too. I refused. I was in shock, blindsided, the whole litany. The only way I felt any control was to insist on not meeting - to keep it to phone calls.
D-Day 2-10-2009 Fully Recovered and Better Than Ever! Thank you Marriage Builders!
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Do it. Public place with lots of people.
Me 34 WW 30 Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08. Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08 The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
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The GF just called me, she wants to meet me in person tonight.....??? Sure! Bring your evidence.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Do it. Public place with lots of people. Yes to this. PUBLIC.
Be prepared for GF to hurl insults about your W. Just let it go if she does this. It's a girl thing.
Last edited by Pepperband; 01/15/10 03:47 PM.
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Congrats, jcb. You've just taken the first real step into recovery. She was deceiving you about being done with the OM if she was still working with him... and that made everybody here realize it was false, including you. The "7 days' notice" thing was total horsefeathers. Congrats on seeing through it!
Be strong. My FWW must have given me the line "couldn't you have just waited until..." a dozen times. Actually, no, I couldn't have waited. Every day she communicated with the OM was another day my heart was being ripped out of my chest. I had no interest, and no motivation to, "wait" while their well-laid plans to continue contact without my interference played out.
With any luck, OM will now not want to get near your wife with a ten-foot pole. For me -- and most others -- it was finally the exposure to the other man's spouse or girlfriend that did in the affair for good!
EDIT: Something to be ready for is that she will continue to say that she was "already separating from OM when you interfered" or something along those lines. Or the relationship was already over, or they weren't in contact and you were just being vengeful, or she had already said goodbye and you just made it hurt more. Be ready for it, be ready to ignore it, even though it hurts to hear her say it.
You're ripping off the band-aid to expose and treat the festering wound underneath. Just because she thinks she was healing and it hurt to rip off the band-aid doesn't mean she didn't need the treatment to cure the infection.
SECOND EDIT: I'd advise extreme caution with the other man's girlfriend. Don't let her deposit any love units with you. Limit yourself to contact only when you're aware of contact between WW and OM.
Last edited by Doormat_No_More; 01/15/10 04:05 PM.
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True, DoNoMo. The other common line: "Now you're pushing me into his arms. I have no where else to go (wah, wah)." Waywards are such idiots. Too bad you can't play this back to her a year from now when she's not all fogged up. She would be MORTIFIED.
Me:BW, FWH 1DD 1DS Status: Chronicled in Dr. Suess's "The Zax"
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SECOND EDIT: I'd advise extreme caution with the other man's girlfriend. Don't let her deposit any love units with you. Limit yourself to contact only when you're aware of contact between WW and OM. [/quote]
What do you mean?
WW just called, OM is all upset (he's losing his meal ticket)and she's "afraid" he's going to kill himself...I said it would save me the trouble....(probably should not have said that)...she did say "I understand you being upset, but that was vindictive...it's been over and I gave my notice..."
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