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I think it's a different kind of meanness or ruthlessness. But I have heard this saying in other situations, and it tends to be true there:

There's nothing meaner than a mean woman. Think about high school. A guy gets mad and he'll punch somebody in the nose. A girl gets mad and she'll rip you piece by piece, all the time laughing to her friends behind your back.

I know men can be mean, cruel, and very manipulative. But women seem to have a special gift for it. Maybe it IS a southern thing...we smile and call you "honey" with all that syrup dripping while we take apart your psyche.

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Originally Posted by lurioosi2
IA girl gets mad and she'll rip you piece by piece, all the time laughing to her friends behind your back.

As long as its prefaced by "why, bless her heart....." flirt


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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If a WW doesn't get her way, all she has to do is utter six magic words and she has an 85% chance of :

- getting their BH kicked out of the house
- getting extremely beneficial temporary orders for custody in place. While they are "temporary", most temporary orders become permanent.
- create a situation where the WW can move the OM and and have BH support the OM

It's very easy for a WW to walk into a courthouse and paint her BH as an eminent danger to her and the kids. I say 85% because that is the rate that protection orders are upheld in my state. The burden of proof is extremely low and the courts err on the side of caution. If a BH is unrepresented, there is a very low chance the protection order will be vacated.



Me BH 35 WW 36
Married 1998
DS 2002
DD 2005
D Day 1 7/28/08
D Day 2 8/19/08

Divorce Final 3/19/2009
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Wow! Is this the whiny-[censored] poor-me BH thread?





Recovery began 10/07;

Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
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Originally Posted by tst
Wow! Is this the whiny-[censored] poor-me BH thread?

he's mean!!! dramaqueen


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by tst
Wow! Is this the whiny-[censored] poor-me BH thread?



Just kidding!

Don't you men realize ALL women are just mean and nasty. LOL





Recovery began 10/07;

Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
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Originally Posted by tst
Originally Posted by tst
Wow! Is this the whiny-[censored] poor-me BH thread?



Just kidding!

Don't you men realize ALL women are just mean and nasty. LOL

Listen, ALL chicks cannot be sweet like me! grin


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Is tst really really brave.....or really really mentally challenged??? hee hee hee

Besides (sob sob) we women would be sweeter if you men (sob sob) would just UNDERSTAND us!! You never listen to us!! You just don't know what it's like to be a woman!!! And yes, I do have PMS...what's your point, buddy! bwahahahahahahahaha

I'm southern. I don't have PMS, or sweat, or flat hair.

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Originally Posted by lurioosi2
Besides (sob sob) we women would be sweeter if you men (sob sob) would just UNDERSTAND us!! You never listen to us!! You just don't know what it's like to be a woman!!! And yes, I do have PMS...what's your point, buddy! bwahahahahahahahaha

we are bein' oppressed by da man!! dramaqueen


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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I realize that generalities only apply generallyMrRollieEyes, but my opinion on WHs vs. WWs is this: Women often use sex as a means to get "romance" and "love". Men often use "romance" and "love" as a means to get sex. This fundamental difference in approach also changes a lot of other things about the wayward relationship. A woman who believes her heart is involved can have a special kind of ruthlessness in dealing with anyone who stands in the way of her achieving her heart's desire. When I plotted with an inmate at a State Penitentiary to kill my husband, some 38 years ago or so, I would say I had "a special kind of ruthlessness." Wouldn't you? And no, I didn't go through with it, and in our old(er) age, he sleeps peacefully at night with both eyes closed and his guns locked up, and still wakes up in the morning! laugh

There have been WHs described on this board who have done truly awful (I started to spell it "offal", which would've been correct, too, wouldn't it?) things to their betrayed spouses. If I name them, I'll miss some, so I'll just spout off another generality. But the most incredible, most horrific things that I have heard done around here, have been done by wives whose husband and/or children had become obstacles to her achieving her romantic dreams. I call it just plain nasty! And I should know. blush

tl




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"When I plotted with an inmate at a State Penitentiary to kill my husband, some 38 years ago or so"

You did WHAT!!!!

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I did just what I posted. You didn't read "The Sad Saga of OtherSusan the Stupid", did you, back in its day? That would be why you missed THAT little piece of pond slime that I dredged up for public consumption in telling of my life at the time when Neak was a toddler, before any of the other 3 children arrived. And I'm not dragging it back out of its grave, either!!mr eek My days of internet dancing emotionally naked on the table tops has come and gone!

I just know--not theorize, I know--what romantic ninnies will consider doing in the pursuit of their unholy dreams. It certainly cured me of my "ailment", however, and that vaccination has lasted now for almost 40 years without ever needing a booster shot.

tl

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Originally Posted by thndrnltng
I realize that generalities only apply generallyMrRollieEyes, but my opinion on WHs vs. WWs is this: Women often use sex as a means to get "romance" and "love". Men often use "romance" and "love" as a means to get sex.

Leaving us with an incredibly small market, apparently, for guidebooks aimed at men about how to get romantic love.

Thank God for Marriage Builders.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Oh wow! I had no idea. No I didn't read the saga but I knew you had bared your soul at one time - I didn't know it was that. Well, here you are 40 years later - older and wiser - and I can only say how happy I am that you've never needed a booster shot. I mean that seriously. ((((T&L)))))

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Quote
I didn't know it was that.

Actually, "that" was only a minor part of the Saga. I had a VERY bare soul by the time I finished, and some pretty big questions about what I'd been thinking to be so open and world-wide mr eekblushmr eek but it was certainly intoxicating and releasing while it was going on.

Then it was over and I turned back into a pumpkin.rotflmao

tl

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How did Neak and your other kids feel about you baring your soul?

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Well, I could let them answer for themselves, but they're in another time zone and are all asleep. The story itself wasn't surprising to them. Neak almost died, with her father, his sister, his brother, and his wife in a small plane crash after I gave up on the murder plot and offered to sell my soul to the devil if my husband didn't survive that trip, I knew, of course, that the likelihood of Neak surviving was very small, but consoled myself with the thought that I was young and fertile and could have other children with the man I loved (not the plotting inmate).

Neak knew from somewhere in her younger childhood about this story, and that her grandpa had called me up from his home 750 miles away, where I assure you, he was not getting any information about my Satanic negotiations from ME! He told me that he and my mother were strongly impressed that Neak and her dad were in deadly danger, and they wanted me to know that they were praying for their protection. Even in my blind rebellion, I knew that if they were praying to God, and I was praying to Satan, just whose prayers were going to get answered. MY BIL was the pilot, and they ran into very severe, unexpected weather. Neak was sleeping on a pad, and the plane dropped so fast, so far that she was flung up into the air and smacked into the cabin ceiling. So when she heard the story, it was always all about how God sent His special angels to answer Grandma and Grandpa's prayers for her to keep her safe. I think it some ways it made her feel special. For the others, I don't know when they heard it, although they certainly all knew it by the time they were in their mid-teens.

For the soul-baring parts, only the girls read on MB, plus for awhile my younger son's now ex-wife, a place which anyone can see is where soul-baring is more the rule than the exception. Neak had no business being embarrassed, what with some of the things that came out in her story! At least mine was ancient history, not current events! rotflmao And Neaksis contributed where she wanted to. If it was a problem for her, I never knew. I don't think so. She's got her own challenges with her adoptees and their post-molestation, post-abuse issues. I think the comparative anonymity of an internet site like this draws people further out than they would go if they were sitting in a room talking face to face to people they know well. Certainly the people who read the Saga knew more about me than the people who see me in church each week and have known me for years.

Still, it's 5 years down the pike and we're still here, although not so relentlessly exposed any more, so we must've survived our soul strip passably well.

tl

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I'm speechless t&l. Thank God that God was looking after everyone. He does. I remember telling NCWalker once that even if I forget God, he never forgets me.

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Originally Posted by sunshine92
IMHO, I think H's and W's have A's for totally different reasons. Men want sex and women want to feel needed, wanted and loved. I have to agree with Kiwi, women are much more emotionally invested in affairs. Where men can go, have sex, and be done. Of course, there is the exception to every rule.

Very, very, very late to the party sorry.

Not ALL men have affairs for the sex. In fact I can say with 100% honesty, that Flick's affair was never about the sex. I also just asked him and he confirmed, if had only been a sex thing, he would not have taken up with PQ.

It is lack of communication about being unhappy in one area until it because the dominant thought in the mind. The dwelling allows resentment and entitlement to come and voila, instant adultery.


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Originally Posted by tst
Wow! Is this the whiny-[censored] poor-me BH thread?

that usually happens when we do the "WW vs. WH" dance..... sigh


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