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I just read this thread, from the beginning.
That is fifteen minutes of my life that I would like back. 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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NG I agree 
me: FWW/BW
Married 20 years, 4 kids
We made it.
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I just can not believe the lack of care this man has for his wife.
I mean .. if his wife was out and going over to peoples homes and using her sex appeal to make sales and having inappropriate convos with other men and telling them how horrible their married life is. Would he be ok with that? I highly doubt it. In fact I bet the men she would talk to would gladly take her up or tell her what she wants to hear to earn her favor. Buts its OK though .. they are single. Geeesh ...
I bet he would be acting all jealous while she argued they were "just friends" and "its no big deal" or "I was just trying to make a sale" .. after all ... they were just talking about marriage problems. Whats the harm in that? Informing opposite sex friends that your marriage is on the rocks? Exposing your feelings about your wife and hard ships to another woman to sympathize with? Seeking marital advice from women who are not married?
Keep digging that hole my friend ... and you will not have a wife for much longer. She will find someone who will listen to her .. who will respect her .. who will put her feelings above that of "sales" and "other women". Then you will be back here ... trying to find out what happened. Trying to kill her affair... Dont let it go that way. Listen to the tough love you are getting here. WE are not speaking out of our a$$es.
People who claim that they will NEVER have an affair are usually the first to fall victim to it because they lack boundries ... especially when their needs are not getting met in their marriages. Harmless chit chat turns to regular chit chat ... which turns to the daily need to talk to that person .. which turns to love bank deposits ... which turns to romantic love .. and POOF .. all of a sudden your wondering what the heck happend and your in too deep. Dont follow that path ...
FEELINGS FOLLOW ACTIONS. Your doing dangerous actions .. and eventually (even though you claim they will not) your feelings will follow because your wife will move into withdrawl and no longer want to meet any of your needs and you will seek your needs to be met from the women who have been listening to you gripe about how bad your marriage is.
MNG
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You are asking for approval from, by and large, people who have been abused in the exact manner you are abusing your wife. However, yours is even more brutal, you dont even hide it from your wife. Most of us had spouses who concealed pathetic, selfish behavior until caught. You couldnt give 2 s---ts what your wife thinks.
I gave up on reading the first few pages up until you said your are in your 50s.
**EDIT** You deserve it and she does too.
Last edited by MBsurvivor; 10/24/12 03:37 PM. Reason: TOS: personal attack
Life keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the fuuuu-ture.
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You are asking for approval from, by and large, people who have been abused in the exact manner you are abusing your wife. However, yours is even more brutal, you dont even hide it from your wife. Most of us had spouses who concealed pathetic, selfish behavior until caught. You couldnt give 2 s---ts what your wife thinks.
I gave up on reading the first few pages up until you said your are in your 50s.
*EDIT* You deserve it and she does too. Thank you MSS......i did need to clean my computer screen.
Last edited by MBsurvivor; 10/24/12 03:37 PM. Reason: Remove quote
"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
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I just thought of something.
My wife did have a friendship years ago and it hurt me deeply. So she's not so innocent. She dosen't have men friends becasue of that. *sniff sniff*  This does not pass my baloney test. This thread is a potential goldmine for wayward "fog translation". Come on you people.. I thought you were here to "help" MSaccused, I love your sense of humor.
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I was thinking of you when I initially posted......."where is Pep? Pep would have a field day with this"
You are the Queen of fog-translation.
"Get busy living, or get busy dying"...... The Shawshank Redemption.
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I was thinking of you when I initially posted......."where is Pep? Pep would have a field day with this"
You are the Queen of fog-translation.  In this case, I believe it to be entirely fictional.
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I'm calling troll on this. But in case I'm wrong...
You need to really get over yourself. All this I can't help it if women like me. This sounds like my high school students. You're in your 50s, the days of worrying about having a bunch of friends and being popular is over. I promise you're not as cool as you think you are.
Look, if your wife is upset, stop doing things that make her mass.she is your number one priority. She quit having male friendships because they hurt you, maybe she should just keep make friends and use the same justifications you do.
Your spouse is your best friend. Would you want to be friends with someone that did things that make you mad.
Last edited by kilted_thrower; 09/24/12 02:47 PM.
Husband (me) 39
Wife 36
Daughter 21
Daughter 19
Son 14
Daughter 10
Son 8 (autistic)
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I promise you're not as cool as you think you are. I know I called troll too,but he DOES sound an awful lot like my FIL whose just turned 60. Lots of female friends. Active social life. All skanks in the centre and pitying glances from the real grown ups. Everyone is too polite to tell him but he makes a fool of himself when he's lapping up the attention. He has no idea people laugh at him. He calls my MIL 'angry' and says 'jealousy is a sickness'. She's at the end of her rope and close to leaving now the kids are older. He thinks people would agree with him too.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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I'm calling troll on this. But in case I'm wrong... I think he is the KING of FOGDOM!!
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So, what do I do about the past mistakes.
My wife seems as if nothing will suffice but that I admit some wrongdoing. She gets mad mad mad when I say, "okay i'll stop". That doesn't seem to do it.
I know we've been having this argument for years but what can I do? All I can do is go forward. She wants a poly and she wants to ask all these questions and it won't do any good digging up the past.
She has a problem with forgiveness and she's a bitter woman.
I just want to move forward. She keeps bringing up the past. And she also says it's her present (as one of you posted) but as, I said, I've given up alot of friends. I get no credit.
I will not admit to doing anything wrong.
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Well of course she gets mad, you say that and then don't do it.
It will do her good to know that she knows everything. Bitter? I would be bitter too if my husband was gallivanting about and pretending nothing was wrong and blaming ME FOR IT ALL.
You are wrong.
The sooner you realize that, the sooner your recovery from all this can be.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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So, what do I do about the past mistakes.
My wife seems as if nothing will suffice but that I admit some wrongdoing. She gets mad mad mad when I say, "okay i'll stop". That doesn't seem to do it.
I know we've been having this argument for years but what can I do? All I can do is go forward. She wants a poly and she wants to ask all these questions and it won't do any good digging up the past.
She has a problem with forgiveness and she's a bitter woman.
I just want to move forward. She keeps bringing up the past. And she also says it's her present (as one of you posted) but as, I said, I've given up alot of friends. I get no credit.
I will not admit to doing anything wrong. The problem is, she is unfairly compared with others so you feel free to ignore her attempts to stop you behaving like a buffoon. When you speak to women who have zero investment in you, they couldn't care less about you being a good man. Or that people laugh at you for chasing women. They just want fun, pretty words. They don't give a hoot about how YOU look. But your wife wants you to be the man she used to be proud of. For you to be a man who steps up to the plate. A man who undoes his wrongs with manly actions. Do the poly. So what if you 'said' sorry. Words are weak. Words are for the bimbo friends. They don't care how foolish you look as long as everyone sees them being admired and befriended over their good looking friend by her husband. Your wife wants ACTION. She knows full well that all your friends are laughing at your folly and she wants real change. Or she'll leave.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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I will not admit to doing anything wrong. I know! Right? Rule #1 straight from Dr Harley himself .... NEVER admit anything !!! It's amazing how quickly you've picked up MB basics to a long, loving, happy marriage! It's known as Radical Never Give An Inch. Especially if your spouse is unhappy. Never give in! 
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She wants a poly and she wants to ask all these questions and it won't do any good digging up the past. A passed poly is like gold in the hands of the betrayed spouse, and is the first payment for the debt you owe. You aren't serious, and one way we (and your wife) can tell is that you won't take a poly. Another way we can tell is that you won't read the articles on this site.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Would you like admiration from your wife, MS?
The real deal? Passionate love of your character, gratitude for the care you show of her feelings?
Her knight in shining armour?
Of course you could carry on settling for the admirition of silly female friends... But who wants fools gold when you can have the GOOD stuff!
(PsSsst.. We know how you can get your wife's passionate admiration.
Psssssssssssst. It costs a little more in terms of deeds than the cheap bimbo kind.....
PSssssssssssssssssssst But its SO nice to experience.
PSssssssssssssssssssssssssst let us know if you're interested)
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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I don't think i have to tell her everything that I do and say. Then this program cannot help you, since one of the cornerstones of this program is Dr. Harley's Policy of Radical Honesty: Reveal to your spouse everything you know about yourself. If you aren't willing to follow the program, it will never help you. I suggest you go find one of the magic programs that helps you without you having to do intimate and vulnerable things like this.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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I'm trying to establish that I'm innocent. Why? Even if you are not innocent, the free help here can show you how to create a good marriage that makes your wife happy. Even if you are innocent but your wife thinks you are not innocent, the free help can still accomplish your goal: make your wife happy. So, is your goal really a happy wife? You can do it, if you'll accept the help (read and do the stuff required). Establishing innocence is a TOTAL WASTE OF TIME.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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