His serial cheating was your fault?

It sounds like your daughter has been brainwashed by a corrupt father, which is understandable. Is the the issue? I would just explain to her that staying married to a serial cheater is not how a healthy, functioning woman should behave.

Please read. Serial Cheaters

That he not be with OW b4 we'd do other than chit chat about non important things...My daughter says that won't happen unless I reach out to him...as he won't because he doesn't want to me with disdain...

It doesn't sound like your daughter really understands the effect his affairs have had on you. The fact that your XH is an alcoholic and a serial cheater makes him a dangerous person who is to be avoided. The fact she doesn't understand this is just fine. What wouldn't be fine is if you resumed contact with him. That would only hurt your own personal recovery.

I would take this a step further and make sure that he cannot get through to you in any way. Tell your daughter you don't want her to pass on any messages or talk about him anymore. He is the worst thing that ever happened to you in your lifetime and continued contact only reminds you of the worse tragedy of your life.

Shutting him out of your life entirely is the best thing for your mental and physical health.

I suggest you that you write a "letter of no trespass" to your ex husband.
You can get a letter from some police departments (through google) or just have an attorney write one and mail it by certified mail.
That way you dont have to be outside worried that he will drive by and stop.

If you dont set clear boundaries, you will never heal.

I don't fear him at all...Hes just a dumbas%...

Yes I understand.
But every interaction with him is an "emotional trigger," and you will be caught up in drama and miss out on the joys of life with continued contact.

So tell me why do I love this guy? And despise dating???

This article by Dr. Harley may help you answer your question:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5035b_qa.html

Was one of his conditions to stop drinking and follow the AA program?

Have you ever been to AlAnon? How about your DD18 has she been to AlAnon?

Because the minute you are close to healing he drags you back into his drama. Making you and his crazy mistress co-competitors. I bet he absolutely loved making her jealous by making contact with you. It must have been like old times with two women saying 'pick me!'

Love is like a drug. If you stop taking hits it goes away. Heartbreak is going cold turkey.

Three weeks and you're through the worst and are now free. Like a bad flu.

Why does a woman with adult children have his number or accept messages? There are women on this site with tiny children who use third parties to communicate to avoid the insults of a cheater. He will be booty calling you next.

He doesn't get visitation with you! Change your phone number and email, ban mention of his name in the hope your daughter will escape seeing this as normal. She is easy pickings for a cruel man because she thinks infidelity is normal. I dread to think what her dates are like.

Put your boots on and walk into your life.

Yes

Funny question I know but does anyone possibly know what this could mean??


Can we Love each other enough,To ignore each other enough!

Stop contacting him. I'm a medic in the military and you know what I tell my sailors when they get hurt? "Well doc my arm hurts when I do this. " I tell them first thing you need to do is STOP doing it.

Im not contacting him

Good. When are you going to an AlAnon meeting?

Have you written Dr. Harley?

Yes going to meetings...

Write Dr. Harley?

Don't think I would like to do that....