There is no rule you have to meet with him. Change the locks and leave town if you like. He hasnt lived there in months. He may not have the right to get inside. And if you go solid plan b before then, you wont have to hear the tantrum.

I feel that if he comes home, he will remember what it feels like to be home. Also, he needs to get certain possessions from here. I can't stop him from doing that.

I cannot leave town, I have to work and go to school. This is impossible.

Like I am trying to say NeedInput - the response within 30 days does not mean you are divorced in 30 days.

You can respond with a disagreement that both parties are incompatible.

Additionally, I do not think you need to spin your wheels too hard about the D papers. Lets focus on Plan B preparations. You are not positive that he even is going to get divorce papers (or does he already have them?) In some cases the Plaintiff (you WH) will not deliver the papers but someone from the attorney your husband went to. In my state you do not have to sign any form that you were served, but my wife did not deliver them to me.

Lets take it one step at a time.


I would make sure you are not at the apartment when he arrives. Have a Plan B letter ready inside the apartment for when he gets there.

You won't know he ended the affair. The other part people miss about Plan B is that the Wayward not only ends the affair - but wants to reconcile. That means you only come out of Plan B when he ends the affair and he approaches you again agreeing to your plan of martial recovery.

Basically, you will know when to come out of Plan B because he will be different and maybe (if your lucky, most are not) he will be sorry for what he did.

I was agreeing that you dont need to be home when he shows up.

If he needs something that badly, he can request it via attorney. He should not have access to your home. Has he changed his address yet?

The attorney told me the divorce can take anywhere from 45 days to 6 months depending on the status of the marriage. In our case, we have no property or kids so it will be fast. About citing the affair, yes, that is exactly what I will do.

No, he uses our home address for most things because he was deployed. And, he will be moving to another station in a different state in 4 months. So most of his possessions are here.

Don't worry about his stuff. Your safety and sanity first.

Well, I am about to call his superiors personally. It breaks my heart for him. I asked the IG to give me his commanders contact info and he did not. I am not sure why.

+100

I care about taking care of you. You did not create this situation. I want the best outcome for you. I dont want him in your house because he is actively working against you.

I just talked to his superiors. I was told they will talk to my husband on Friday and call me back with updates. I told the Sgt. that I have contacted the IG but I did not mention that I have not yet submitted the form. I will wait until Friday to see what happens.

He apparently is still overseas.

I would get the form submitted today and get this going.

Does he use social media?

He never did in the past but after meeting this woman he is using KakaoTalk and Google Hangouts I think. He does not have facebook. At least, not that I know of. I saw messages from this woman and I know her picture and name but I do not know what messaging they use. I made an account in KakaoTalk and searched by username but could not find her. He probably told her to change her picture and username because I know now who she is.

I am thinking to ask his command on Friday if it is possible to keep him there and not allow him to take his leave and come here. After my husband gets questioned on Friday, I am expecting him to be calling me. Should I be talking to him or not?

be in Plan B by then.

Did you record those photos and text?

No, he saw me and took his phone from me; he has passcode on his phone but I just clicked on one of the 4 icons on the front page and was able to see a message from her - I did this a couple of times. It was just her username picture that appears right by the text, not photos.

Have you read this? It has Plan B Letter Samples and the IM training link.

Thank you, I will look into it.