Yes, but like the attorney told me I am legally obligated to respond to his divorce claim within 30 days of signing that I have receive the papers. Can I just NOT sign that I have received the papers?
Like I am trying to say NeedInput - the response within 30 days does not mean you are divorced in 30 days.
You can respond with a disagreement that both parties are incompatible.
Additionally, I do not think you need to spin your wheels too hard about the D papers. Lets focus on Plan B preparations. You are not positive that he even is going to get divorce papers (or does he already have them?) In some cases the Plaintiff (you WH) will not deliver the papers but someone from the attorney your husband went to. In my state you do not have to sign any form that you were served, but my wife did not deliver them to me.
Lets take it one step at a time.
Ok,I need a summary here:
1. Contact IG
2. Contact commander personally
3. Send a plan B letter, in which I request he ends the affair and not come back home until he ends it
4. Go no contact until he ends the affair (How do I know he has ended it?)
By the way, he WILL be coming home - that is for sure. I KNOW he will be coming home no matter my request. So he can be sending me the divorce papers through the intermediary then.
I would make sure you are not at the apartment when he arrives. Have a Plan B letter ready inside the apartment for when he gets there.
You won't know he ended the affair. The other part people miss about Plan B is that the Wayward not only ends the affair - but
wants to reconcile. That means you only come out of Plan B when he ends the affair
and he approaches you again agreeing to your plan of martial recovery.
Basically, you will know when to come out of Plan B because he will be different and maybe (if your lucky, most are not) he will be sorry for what he did.