Hi Rookie,

Yeah, you do have to have insurance. Do you have ins. at your work? If you do, have you
talked with someone there about your situation?
Tell them the predicament you are in.

Ladysheep

Lady, The W and I worked for the same place, I retired in June and went under her ins. policy.

I did fill out the paperwork for my ins. to continue on my own plan as I anticipated a divorce situation and I knew I needed the coverage, only problem is, the W is the person responcible for handling the ins. paperwork and did not turn it in. I have called the HR dept. and explained the sitch to them, the are looking into it to see if I can get my coverage reinstated.

She has been a real sweetheart through this whole thing.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by rookie:
<strong>I have a appointment with my attorney on Sat., I am not going to file, going to let her, but I do have to drag the divorce out for awhile as I am covered under her health insurance at work and once the D is finalized I wont have it. Being that I had cancer las tyear, no one will cover me for at least 5 years of being cancer free.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Ask her personnel department, I think you could have Cobra for 18 months after D but you can't have other health ins. available to you. Ask your lawyer to put medical coverage as part of the financial settlement.

Actually if you lay low, stay away from LB, it is to your advantage !. A will end, not now not yet but it will. Reality have to be injected to A to test it.

BTW Have you given her plan B letter ? otherwise what you are doing is LB by not talking to her. You can't be NC w/o plan B!.

-rh-

Oh gees, I hope it will be reinstated.

So do I lady,

I just recieved a e-mail from her telling what a GOOD mother and a GOOD person she is, I couldnt help but respond tto that one..

Told her a GOOD mother doesnt teach her child to lie, cheat and copmromise their morals for self serving purposes, to a ten year old. A GOOD person would not abandon her husban after a fight with cancer. A GOOD person would realize that family comes before a boyfriend. Advised her to be a GOOD person andtake the time to read about the devasting affects of a A on the people called her family.

I know, but I had to respond to that, told her I loved the person SHE WAS, not who she is now and asked her not to contact me anymore with her justifications for her affair.

I know it fell on deaf ears, but I'm getting to the point I dont want to hear the BS anymore.

because what I have been doing is hanging up on her, I do pick up the phone as it could be my son calling, I let her start to say whatever it is she is going to, and I simply hangup,
Plan B (which it seems you are not in, are you?) is not about being rude. Just hanging up IS rude and is not inline with any MB principles.

Just say, "Son is not here" or "please read the Plan B letter. Goodbye."

You're right Rookie, at what you said to her. You've said it a million times, it is still falling on deaf ears.

I know, but I had to respond to that, told her I loved the person she was, not who she is now and asked her not to contact me anymore w/ her justifications for her affair.
Good job, that was to the point! It puts it right back in her lap.

Ladysheep

redhat.

I did contact the HR department. I would have cobra for 18 months after the D.

The problem is that I did apply for my OWN ins. which would continued for life as long as I made the payments, but the W did not turn in the paperwork, this in itself could present a problem for her, since she is still a employee of the city and she still has the responcibility to hand in said paperwork as that is her job.

I did send her a plan B letter awhile back, and basically I did do the same this morning when I told her to stop contacting me with the BS and that I still loved the person she was.

I know the A is going to crash and burn, but this woman has dragged me through 8 mos. of this BS so far, I really am not sure as to what I would do if she decided to work on the M, I would definetely take a hard line as far a compliance with the 4 rules and she would have to quit her job.

I've said it before, her parents are moving 9-27-03, life is not going to be so good when she has to take care of everything and wont have the time to do what she wants. The only family she really had was mine, and one cousin of her own, but the cousin was burned by a exwife in the same fashion mine is doing now and he is very irate at her and has asked me to continue to be part of their circle. She will not be able to bring the OP anywhere where they would feel comfortable.
His family has rejected him over the A. All they will have is themselves, that is going to burn out real quick once reality of everyday life sets in.

Rookie what is contacting screaming angry outbursts at your wife getting you? NOTHING but more angry. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF! You are feeding right into her hands AGAIN! You said you wanted the BS to stop. Well YOU CAN STOP IT! Don't answer the phone, don't reply to emails NO CONTACT WHAT SO EVER! The more angry you get at her the more she can say SEE HOW DANGEROUS HE IS, THAT IS WHY I LEFT! You are giving her foggy brain reason to continue in her LA LA LAND! You keep saying you don't care, but you do. It is obvious. You said she is not setting a good example to your 10 yr old son. Neither are you with your anger. He may not be around to see it but kids aren't as unaware as we would like to believe. Please go NO CONTACT. You want her to hurt, that is very understandable but as you said anything and everything you say is like talking to a wall. She doesn't see it, she only see's your anger and she feeds off to justify her actions. NO CONTACT NO CONTACT NO CONTACT! Don't let her reel you into any more emails or discussions!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by rookie:
<strong>redhat.

I did contact the HR department. I would have cobra for 18 months after the D.

The problem is that I did apply for my OWN ins. which would continued for life as long as I made the payments, but the W did not turn in the paperwork, this in itself could present a problem for her, since she is still a employee of the city and she still has the responcibility to hand in said paperwork as that is her job.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes, actually Corba is the last resort. However you might not be able to get affordable one on your own. My sugesstion is to push for health coverage under her responsibility if you have to end this M. Talk to your lawyer.

You should be in plan B ... strict ones and let her face her A "alone". Hang in there, big bro. you could outlast this A. Just sit back and watch it like soap opera.

-rh-

sorry but i feel the need to interject!

the fact that she actually made a statement concerning her physical fear of you is a huge RED FLAG! be very craeful here...VERY!

there is no telling how far aperson will go to get the upper hand! i think that you should march right down to your local police station and go on record immediatly....tell them that you are afraid that your wife may make unfounded alligations concerning your fitness as a parent, as a husband and as to your alledged "violent" nature.

tell them exactly what the situation is and ask if you should seek or if in fact need an OOP. you know...and order of protection doesn't just protect you against violent acts. it prevents you from being put into a risky and questionable situation. do not be alone with this woman at this time...please! she is sounding very sick.

really...you must disconnect from her for your own good. she is sucking you down to her level and no good can come from this kind of interaction.

please be very carefull.
coach

Coach, was a police Sgt. for 28 years, am very, very familiar with the order of protection and how it is implemented in this state. please, dont take this as me being a smart [censored].

Here, only a person being verbally harrassed or physically harrassed can get a order of protection. If I went to the local PD, really wouldnt matter much at all.

My best protection at this point is simply to avoid her contact. If I have to talk to her it will only be in public with my hands in my pocket.

She tried that crap a few weeks back at my son's football practice, she shows up, I go to pick up my folding chair and she flinched back acting like I was threatening her. I immediatley let go of the chair (I was approx 5ft from her)there were no threatening gestures made at all, This was infront of a group of people, I put my hands in my pockets and asked her what the hell was wrong with her.

I do know where this is going.

Funny thing today though, the OP's wife called her 8 YOA son was in the car with her, he is familiar with what is going on between his father and my W, he tells his mother, the OP's wife, that dad told him he is NOT in love with my W enough to marry her and he is not going to, the son mentioned my wife by her first name. Seems like someone's bubble might get burst. I hope it hurts like hell when it happens.

One thing I did forget, the HR department sent me the paperwork to reinstate my insurance, THEY are aware of the A and the problems in the marriage and are going to manipulate the date on the insurance paperwork to reflect that I did submit for my ins. at the time of my retirement.

Seems they dont want any problems because of a W having a A with another employee, will cost me 400 a month though, but, that is a price that has to be paid.

Hi Rookie, that's good you're getting the insurance. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> And it's better than the cost of Cobra!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Please stay away from wife, I know it's hard. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Ladysheep

The W sent me a e-mail this morning, she wants to meet me at football pratice to talk. I dont think so,,,I didnt respond to her e-mail. I am a asst. coach and at practice I will not leave the field and put myself in a position for her to make any claims. Besides that, I am emotionally not in a position to talk to her without letting my emotions take over, there fore I will not speak with her now.

OP's wife called, she wants to get together to go over the cell phone records I have. We are going to do it Sat. Nothing is going on between us at all. I did tell her to dress to the nines, put on some perfune and make sure that her H notices.

He did place a caller ID in a hidden location which the W found, she asked him about it, he told her he wanted to know how often her and I were talking.

We only speak in regards to our spouses and what they are doing, We have their actions down pat and they really cant sneak as much as they think.

Nothing is going on between us at all. I did tell her to dress to the nines, put on some perfune and make sure that her H notices.
Are you just looking for trouble then?

Not at all coach, I just want her H to think she is getting over him and going on with her life.

I did the same with my W a couple weeks ago and it sent her up a wall.

I have no intentions of having a relationship with his W at all, this is just a head game for him, something for him to think about. I am going with her along with my son age 26 and daughter and her husband.

I have discussed it with the OP's W and told her that there were no intentions at all, she agrees.

Sorry Chris, I was responding to you not coach.

I did send the W a e-mail also this morning stating that unless it is about our son, I did not want to speak with her,

It was a shorter version of the original plan b letter I sent before, I did state I would speak with her when she ended her affair and considered working on the marriage.

MB is not about playing games and trying to make the ws think something is going on. In fact, you make sure they know (in the Plan B letter) you are committed to marriage and are NOT acting single.

By telling her to get dolled up, you ARE not following MB principles.

Chris, My W and the OP have no idea that she is seeing me to go over the phone records. The intention for for HER husband.

I have not dated anyone, emotionally I am no where near being ready for that.

I did do the dress up routine that one night to see her reaction.

I did see somewhere here, that you should keep em guessing, beleive it was in the 180. I havent done anything like that again to her, being my W.

As always I appreciate the advice, sometimes I do misinterpet the intentions of some of this.