Marriage Builders®
Posted By: chrisner Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 03:44 PM
It�s interesting how many men react to their wife�s adultery with such trepidation and fear. They simple don�t understand the dire emergency and threat adultery is to their marriage. It�s always about the fear of their wife. Fear of her anger. Fear of �pushing her further away�. Fear of losing their precious adultery stained marriage and perhaps if they do nothing it will all go away and maybe they won�t even get a disease.

In other critical situations most men will act quickly and decisively. A sort of intuitive understanding to �assault the ambush� mentality. Don�t hide behind a stump until they pick you off. Charge! Hey, they might get you anyway but at least you have a chance. Right?

For example you are up in Alaska and suddenly are confronted by a Kodiak bear. And he�s hungry. This also qualifies as a dire emergency and threat.

Fortunately you are carrying a .300 ultra magnum caliber Remington Model 700 BDL rifle with a 26 inch barrel and gloss walnut grips and your collection of trophies from NRA competitions in you den back home indicate you know how to use it.

The 1,400 lb. bear wipes away his drool and charges.

What-ya gonna do Bubba? Negotiate? Hide behind a stump? Not likely.

But when your 125 lb. adulterous wife tells you �If you (fill in the blank with an action that stands up to her adultery), I am going to stomp my feet and put on a super pout!�, you assume your fetal position on the floor of the guest room.

�You�re right honey. I�m sorry. I just don�t want to push you further away. I�ll be in the guest room if you need me for anything as soon as I'm done arranging the flowers I bought you.�

I don�t know guys. This gets embarrassing sometimes.

Where has all the testosterone gone?
ITA. I've seen little 5'2, 120 lb women (coughcough) put up a bigger fight than some men. I don't understand it either.
Posted By: rwinger Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 03:53 PM
good timing -

Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot. Would your wife just roll over and let you have a girlfriend?

Being pissed off and angry is a healthy response to DDay.

Posted By: chrisner Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 04:03 PM
Originally Posted by rwinger
good timing -

Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot. Would your wife just roll over and let you have a girlfriend?

Being pissed off and angry is a healthy response to DDay.

It just gets old sometimes having to watch Mel pass through the BH threads like a nurse trying to keep them alive with testosterone IV�s. And the patient keeps pulling out the needle.
sigh


Hey MF! I have met you and I will say right now if I were ever in a good bar fight I would want you on my side.
Posted By: Vittoria Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 04:06 PM
If you back down after d-day, you don't have a chance with a wayward in R.

Totally agree with the original post.
Posted By: MelodyLane Is this a WIMP CONVENTION??? - 05/20/10 04:06 PM
You beat me to the punch, Chrisner, I am similarly frustrated with some of the conflict avoiding I have seen on this forum and think this is a dangerous trend. Men are wired to appease women and don't seem to realize that is the WORST thing you can do with a wayward.

Appeasing a wayward who is hellbent on destroying your marriage will result in a ....................destroyed marriage. Appeasement will get you exactly nowhere except divorced while you pay the mortgage on a home that has been taken over by an OM who has REPLACED YOU.

But to you conflict avoider men, I want to tell you something very important, so please heed my words:

Women do not love men they do not respect and they do not respect men whom they can run over. It is disgusting. So when you reward her with flowers when she has just been with her OM, you are doing nothing more than inviting her disgust and eroding any love and respect she may have left for you.

This unconditional "love" is nothing other than ENABLING and trains her to have false expectations of entitlement. You are creating a monster with your appeasement tactics.

What women want to see is a man who has the BALLS to fight for his marriage. A man who stands up for his marriage and fights for it. He causes as much conflict as possible in the affair and he protects his children AT ALL COSTS from her affair.

And to the next man who tells me that his adulterous, alley catting wife is a "good mother," I have this for you: twoxfour

Oh please. WAKE THE HELL UP! There is nothing "good" about a mother who wrecks her children's family in pursuit of her own lust; who runs around like an alley cat in heat. What a ridiculous notion. A good mother is not selfish and neglectful and RECKLESS.

So, you men who think that Plan C [Dr Harley calls this Plan "compromise", I call it Plan Conflict Avoidance] is going to get you anywhere, think again. It is the most likely to lead to divorce.

So please, lets leave the wimp convention and start fighting to save your marriage.
Posted By: Mulan Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 04:08 PM
ITA. And here's what these guys never think about: Any man who would simply step aside while another man moves in on his wife is sending her the screamingly clear message that

I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU

I WILL NOT FIGHT FOR YOU

I DON'T CARE IF ANOTHER MAN ****S YOU

HAVE A NICE DAY

And then they wonder why this approach does not impress the WW.

You might want to look at this from the female point of view, guys, and think again about the message you're sending.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 04:18 PM
Originally Posted by chrisner
It just gets old sometimes having to watch Mel pass through the BH threads like a nurse trying to keep them alive with testosterone IV�s. And the patient keeps pulling out the needle.
sigh

What scares me is when they start posting to EACH OTHER and giving each other tips on enabling! I know most of the conflict avoiders ignore me [because their goal is to avoid conflict, not to save the marriage] but I feel I have to say something because other men read this crap and think this is a solution.

Men don't like crossing their wives, so they naturally gravitate to easier, softer tactics. At the expense of their marriage, unfortunately.

All you conflict avoider men need to go look at Wheelspinning. His marriage is reconciled and they are recovering because he unleashed HOLY HELL on his wife's affair. He didn't lower his standards. He raised the bar and he is now in recovery. His WW is posting here helping others!

There are no guarantees but you are guaranteed to a life of hell headed right towards divorce if you continue to appease and avoid conflict.
Posted By: MelodyLane iS THIS A WIMP CONVENTION?? - 05/20/10 04:20 PM
Originally Posted by Mulan
ITA. And here's what these guys never think about: Any man who would simply step aside while another man moves in on his wife is sending her the screamingly clear message that

I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU

I WILL NOT FIGHT FOR YOU

I DON'T CARE IF ANOTHER MAN ****S YOU

HAVE A NICE DAY

And then they wonder why this approach does not impress the WW.

You might want to look at this from the female point of view, guys, and think again about the message you're sending.

AGREE. And a similar message is being sent to their children:

I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU

I WILL NOT FIGHT FOR YOU

I DON'T CARE IF ANOTHER MAN TAKES MY PLACE AS DADDY

HAVE A NICE DAY
Posted By: NewPetals Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 04:25 PM
Originally Posted by chrisner
�You�re right honey. I�m sorry. I just don�t want to push you further away. I�ll be in the guest room if you need me for anything as soon as I'm done arranging the flowers I bought you.�

rotflmao
For the record - this goes for women too. Any woman that will meekly step aside and allow the A to continue is saying the same thing:

I DON'T LOVE YOU
I WON'T FIGHT FOR YOU
LET ANOTHER WOMAN PLAY MOMMY

HAVE A NICE DAY wink
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 04:30 PM
Originally Posted by NewPetals
rotflmao
For the record - this goes for women too. Any woman that will meekly step aside and allow the A to continue is saying the same thing:

But............we usually don't have to say that to the women. The woman who tolerates this is the EXCEPTION, not the rule. We actually have to coach men not to leave their homes and abandon their children at the behest of their cheating wife.

I HAVE NEVER HAD TO TELL A WOMAN NOT TO LEAVE HER HOME.

I have to tell men not to leave every week. And have done so for years...
Posted By: chrisner Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 04:35 PM
Originally Posted by Ranger Handbook
As scary as it is to run into an ambush - where there's always the assumption of casualty - it's really the only way to effectively handle the situation. If you tried to maneuver your way out, you'll only react according to their script, in a fashion the enemy is predicting you will, and it will land you in a worse place. We learned in Vietnam that you've got to cause the ambush to fall apart. It was their duty - as it was every other Ranger's duty - to assault the ambush.



Sound familiar?
Posted By: chrisner Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 04:48 PM
I love this one. Mel has used it before.





Guys, practice this at home in front of the mirror. You can even wear the cool duster if you must.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 05:02 PM
Woohoohoo!!! Love, love, love this thread! Makes me wanna swoon.

rotflmao
Posted By: Vittoria Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 05:14 PM
Originally Posted by princessmeggy
Woohoohoo!!! Love, love, love this thread! Makes me wanna swoon.

rotflmao
I love that Kurt Russell clip, the movie and well ... Kurt Russell grin

If the roles had of been reversed in our case,
I sure as heck would hope that my H would stand up to me and do what was necessary,
I would want to know that I'm his, and yes, that I'm important enough to fight for.

Swoon me!
Posted By: chrisner Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 05:15 PM
Originally Posted by princessmeggy
Woohoohoo!!! Love, love, love this thread! Makes me wanna swoon.

rotflmao

Of course of the 8-posters who have responded on the thread, 6 are women. sigh


Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain�t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
Posted By: Mark1952 Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 05:19 PM
It isn't fair...

I'm too busy at work...
Posted By: Vittoria Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 05:23 PM
Originally Posted by Mark1952
It isn't fair...

I'm too busy at work...
and obviously I'm not busy enough!

I'm lovin' this, I never get this much comp time. hurray
Posted By: Tabby1 Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 05:40 PM
Great thread! It should also be noted that this tactic should be applied to EA's as well as PA's.
Posted By: chrisner Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 05:48 PM
The house catches on fire in the night. A man scrambles to get his wife and children safely out at whatever peril.

The boat capsizes in deep water. A man scrambles to get his wife and children secured to the hull until rescue.

A vicious dog attacks the family at a park during their picnic. A man inserts himself between his family and the dog at whatever risk and takes it out with a salad fork.

The front door is kicked in by home invaders. A man barricades his family and sets up his defensive position to the death if necessary with his Les Baer 1911 Premier II Super-Tac .45. (I gotta get one!)

The man�s wife commits adultery with the intent of taking everything she can get including the kids to spend the rest of their life with her sole mate and the man meekly launders a load of her new sheer panty and lingerie collection and then slinks away into the spare bedroom. Because doing anything else is too scary.

sigh

Posted By: lousygolfer Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 05:54 PM
Well...

I liked Mel's post the other day to one of the CA men.

"Does the OM fit into your clothes as well?

Boots ON!

LG
Posted By: lousygolfer Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 05:56 PM
PS:

Thats 3! Countem 3 guys now.

LG
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 05:57 PM
Originally Posted by chrisner
The front door is kicked in by home invaders. A man barricades his family and sets up his defensive position to the death if necessary with his Les Baer 1911 Premier II Super-Tac .45. (I gotta get one!)

The man�s wife commits adultery with the intent of taking everything she can get including the kids to spend the rest of their life with her sole mate and the man meekly launders a load of her new sheer panty and lingerie collection and then slinks away into the spare bedroom. Because doing anything else is too scary.

I don't get it. Invader breaks into the house and he bravely defends his family. But an invader breaks into his marriage and his children's family and he turns French.. crazy
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 06:01 PM
I think the trick is to be BRAVER than the OM. You have to admit it takes alot of brass balls to invade a man's marriage and destroy his children's family.

A husband just has to be braver than that.

Typically, though, the OM is really not brave at all once the BH stands up to him. The typical OM is a coward and a lowlife.
Posted By: NewPetals Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 06:04 PM
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
I think the trick is to be BRAVER than the OM. You have to admit it takes alot of brass balls to invade a man's marriage and destroy his children's family.

A husband just has to be braver than that.

Typically, though, the OM is really not brave at all once the BH stands up to him. The typical OM is a coward and a lowlife.

Yep. You have to be pretty low to invade someone else's marraige. I know this is half of our spouses on the forum - but come on.

If I was a guy, I'd get a gun and put on that hat and practice saying, "Hell's coming with me!" until I had it just right - and then I'd go after POSOW (well, I guess it would be POSOM if I was a guy).
Posted By: ouchthathurt Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 06:35 PM
I was gonna respond, but my wife said I couldn't.
Posted By: Mulan Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 06:38 PM
Originally Posted by ouchthathurt
I was gonna respond, but my wife said I couldn't.


Then you go right back in there and POJA that, little mister!!
Posted By: Vittoria Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 06:38 PM
I know that my H would do all of the things that a man would do for his family, that have been said here.
I believe that he would stand up to me, state his intentions for my behaviour in our M, and if I did not conform, he has said that he would likely kick me out. I believe this.
I don't think he would expose though. For some reason that would be conflict that he would avoid, yet I can still see him kicking me out on my hiney. Odd.

So why is this?

Is this because he was raised in a family and a generation that you respect women, (I see the irony)
you don't dare raise a hand to a woman, you open a door for a woman and walk on the right side of her at all times.
A time when you were taught to never disgrace or discredit a woman. IDK.

Although a man would protect his family to the death, a woman would too, females are very protective of their families, we see this in nature.

I do know that I've seen pages among pages getting BH to expose, sometimes they do and sometimes they don't.
It's extremely frustrating!


Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 06:38 PM
Originally Posted by ouchthathurt
I was gonna respond, but my wife said I couldn't.

rotflmao
Posted By: chrisner Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 06:44 PM
Originally Posted by ouchthathurt
I was gonna respond, but my wife said I couldn't.

Get back to the laundry.

The guy count is up to 5!
Posted By: ouchthathurt Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 06:53 PM
But seriously, the feminization of men has created this problem. Men have been told that they need to get in touch with their feminine side. Our marriage needed a tune up a while back. My wife had developed a lot of bad habits. Taking me for granted. Getting the "face" when I would come on to her for sex. So when my daughter moved out last year. I told the wife that now we can discuss whether we should split up, since the kids were out of the house. I just said it kind of matter of factly. I told her that she has plenty of friends to hang with and we could still be friends and stuff. I guess that made her think about things. And when she came to the realization that her golden years might be restructured into silver or possibly copper years, she did a major 180. I don't get the "face" anymore. She is definitely more clingy and considerate of what my thoughts are about situations. I don't lord over her though. The funny thing is. She is a lot happier then she was b4 I brought the discussion up. I guess she just needed to be reminded how good she has it.
Posted By: Bubbles4U Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 07:08 PM
Maybe certain men pick abusive women and get used to being used and abused. Then when these women cheat on them, they have no courage since their courage had been stripped away by woman thier whole marriage.

And maybe the women in thier childhood stripped thier courage away also.

We know guys who are weak when it comes to ALL women. And some women use these guys like toiletpaper.

Posted By: karmasrose Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 07:18 PM
It's very sad, because most of the good guys go for the super-hot women who are abusive and run them over.

I would rather have a man willing to be a man, not a guy whose every answer is "yes, dear."

Let me run over you and I will lose all respect for you. I mean, what woman wants a man she can master?
Posted By: chrisner Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 07:22 PM
Quote
I would rather have a man willing to be a man, not a guy whose every answer is "yes, dear."


Karma, the full quote is, "Yes dear. You're right. I'm sorry."

Right out of Appeasement 101.
Posted By: Pepperband Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 07:25 PM
LOVE this thread !!!!! kiss
Posted By: karmasrose Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 07:34 PM
It's guys like that that are the reason I'm still not much interested in dating.

I am a gamer, and thus (as one could imagine) get LOTS of attention from guys who play Warcraft. Most of these are kings of appeasement.

I enjoy a good nerdly talk, someone who enjoys what I do, but the main point is that I am agreeing with the thread, and that is: If I wanted a yes-person, I'd marry myself.
Posted By: chrisner Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 07:40 PM
Originally Posted by Pepperband
LOVE this thread !!!!! kiss

You just like all the Guns and Ammo talk.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 07:43 PM
I officially award this thread with the "Bring Pep Out of Lurkdom" award!
Quote
Hey MF! I have met you and I will say right now if I were ever in a good bar fight I would want you on my side.

Why's that?!?!?
Posted By: jmwc95 Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 08:02 PM
Originally Posted by chrisner
Originally Posted by ouchthathurt
I was gonna respond, but my wife said I couldn't.

Get back to the laundry.

The guy count is up to 5!

You can add me to the count.

Better yet, you better d@mn well add me to the count because if not, I will make your life HELL! mad
Quote
I WILL NOT FIGHT FOR YOU

Women want to be fought for...that is every little girl's dream, and little girls grow up to be women, and the dream never dies.

When a woman is having an A the absolute best thing her husband can do to win her back is to fight for her.

Even when it makes her angry.

Posted By: chrisner Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 08:10 PM
Alright boys! All together!


You tell him I�m coming. And hell�s coming with me, you hear? Hell�s coming with me!
Posted By: karmasrose Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 08:12 PM
Exactly, MF!

Yet when I say this, feminists rail at me... "Don't you want to not have to depend on a man!?"
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 08:13 PM
They need to listen to this over and over again!!

Frankly, I ended up divorced from my WW, after exposure, etc. After reading Dr H's view, that if Joyce cheated, he'd divorce her, I agree.

My wife may HAVE been a great catch, but once someone decides an affair is the solution to the marriage problems, they lose that status.

I personally WILL NOT fight for a wayward wife. If she cannot see my value, then I'm better off without her. Plan D, immediate, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

I've done the try to win the WW back under SH's coaching and will NOT ever try it again.

I went so far as to get a vasectomy after my divorce so I wouldn't have any more children.

Life is just too valuable to be spent with someone who cannot honor her vows.
Posted By: chrisner Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 08:14 PM
Originally Posted by MarriedForever
Quote
Hey MF! I have met you and I will say right now if I were ever in a good bar fight I would want you on my side.

Why's that?!?!?


Are you kidding? The night you nuke exposed on that runner forum alone made you my hero. You're one tough straight shooter MF.
Posted By: Tom2010 Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 08:16 PM
Hi chrisner,

Very interesting subject.

I'm surprised that more guys are not taking this up, but oh well, perhaps they are too busy as I should be right now.

Anyway I would like to add my three cents. I think your example is more of adrenalin than testosterone..*s* It is true, men are more or less cultured to protect, react to aggression, and be competitive. Which guy would not stand up for his W if he saw someone seriosly trying to hit on her. Which baseball pitcher would not be eager to throw at the other team's batter if he saw that team's pitcher intentionally throwing at a batter on his own team.

I too have seen almost too many guys here continue to avoid and do all the wrong things after so much advice is given to them.

But, at least initially I think a guy's reaction is like this. In the case of your bear, let's say that somehow your wife gained the bear's trust so that he would not harm her, but SHE is the one who led that bear to your camp. I think most guys would be bewhilderd and confused at fist as I was to the point of not knowing how to react. Some might even wonder if they should shoot the bear OR the wife first. Most others would at least initially think that their wife ought to at least have the sense of obligation to end the affair. I believe these feelings are normal for a guy initialy because, unlike facing only the bear, now the guy is facing betrayal and the feeling of at least sense of rejection it may bring. That can not only cloud judgement, but it could dillute any amount of testosterone. I think that most guys do recover their courage after they've had time to get over the initial shock.

The other thing is, we really don't know the wife's true feelings in these cases and the reasons for them. That does NOT of course in any way justify an affair. However, that wife may have long ago lost respect for her H due to things lacking in the marriage. I feel that once a woman gets to that stage it is hard for anyone to win her back.

Again just my three cents.

Tom

Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 08:19 PM
Originally Posted by Enlightened_Ex
I personally WILL NOT fight for a wayward wife. If she cannot see my value, then I'm better off without her. Plan D, immediate, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

That is every man's prerogative, but what about those who WANT to stay married and sit by and allow their wives to abuse them?

Also, Dr Harley did say he didn't know what he would actually do in that situation. Not that there is anything wrong with deciding to cut your losses. I respect those who do and I respect those don't.

What I DO NOT respect are wimpy men who decide to stay and do absolutely nothing to defend themselves. That is shameful.
Posted By: Tom2010 Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 08:27 PM
By the way, most guys are reluctant to take advice initially at least when they feel confused or lost. How many W's out there have tried to convince there H's to stop somewhere and ask for directions when she felt he was lost, and he really was!

The good guys are the ones who do finally admit they are lost and at least look at the roadmap.

Tom
Posted By: BTinTrouble Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 08:28 PM
Wow...

eye opener.

My W has said this so many times in different ways that I didnt get. Ok... back to my thread again. Thanks to the poster who sent me here.

Mel, thanks for continuing to try with us "weeny men" or whatever term someone wants to use.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 08:28 PM
Good point, Tom!! rotflmao
Posted By: maritalbliss Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 08:29 PM
Originally Posted by Enlightened_Ex
Frankly, I ended up divorced from my WW, after exposure, etc. After reading Dr H's view, that if Joyce cheated, he'd divorce her, I agree.

My wife may HAVE been a great catch, but once someone decides an affair is the solution to the marriage problems, they lose that status.

I personally WILL NOT fight for a wayward wife. If she cannot see my value, then I'm better off without her. Plan D, immediate, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

I've done the try to win the WW back under SH's coaching and will NOT ever try it again.

I went so far as to get a vasectomy after my divorce so I wouldn't have any more children.

Life is just too valuable to be spent with someone who cannot honor her vows.

My FWH and I had an agreement when we got married. That agreement was that the only 'marriage-breaker' for either of us would be infidelity. Well. Fast-forward a few years, and lo and behold, my H cheated on me.

That whole agreement thingy flew out the window. I had to do some heavy heart-searching to determine what I wanted for ME. What was best for ME. That choice was my flawed, repentent WH. Do I regret that decision? No.

I had the right to call the whole thing off, sure. But I chose not to. You made a different decision. I won't fault you that for a second. You did what was right for you.

I think it's sometimes easy to say what a person would do in a given situation, especially when that situation isn't even looming on the horizon. Things can really change when the situation actually occurs. It did for me.
Originally Posted by chrisner
Originally Posted by MarriedForever
Quote
Hey MF! I have met you and I will say right now if I were ever in a good bar fight I would want you on my side.

Why's that?!?!?


Are you kidding? The night you nuke exposed on that runner forum alone made you my hero. You're one tough straight shooter MF.

Ahhhh....got it. wink I thought I did or said something when we met up that gave you this idea!

I understand from my exposure episode, LOL. I was fed up.
Originally Posted by karmasrose
Exactly, MF!

Yet when I say this, feminists rail at me... "Don't you want to not have to depend on a man!?"

GAAAAH!
Posted By: karmasrose Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 09:02 PM
I react the same way...
Originally Posted by maritalbliss
Originally Posted by Enlightened_Ex
Frankly, I ended up divorced from my WW, after exposure, etc. After reading Dr H's view, that if Joyce cheated, he'd divorce her, I agree.

My wife may HAVE been a great catch, but once someone decides an affair is the solution to the marriage problems, they lose that status.

I personally WILL NOT fight for a wayward wife. If she cannot see my value, then I'm better off without her. Plan D, immediate, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

I've done the try to win the WW back under SH's coaching and will NOT ever try it again.

I went so far as to get a vasectomy after my divorce so I wouldn't have any more children.

Life is just too valuable to be spent with someone who cannot honor her vows.

My FWH and I had an agreement when we got married. That agreement was that the only 'marriage-breaker' for either of us would be infidelity. Well. Fast-forward a few years, and lo and behold, my H cheated on me.

That whole agreement thingy flew out the window. I had to do some heavy heart-searching to determine what I wanted for ME. What was best for ME. That choice was my flawed, repentent WH. Do I regret that decision? No.

I had the right to call the whole thing off, sure. But I chose not to. You made a different decision. I won't fault you that for a second. You did what was right for you.

I think it's sometimes easy to say what a person would do in a given situation, especially when that situation isn't even looming on the horizon. Things can really change when the situation actually occurs. It did for me.

Let's be clear, as it appears you mis-understand.

My first marriage, I fought for my WW, and she got the divorce she wanted despite my fight for her, the marriage and the family. I got the house, she got the divorce and primary custody.

I'm re-married. But I wouldn't fight for my wife should she cheat. I've been down that road and won't go down it again. In fact, if she were to cheat, I'd probably never marry again. But one cannot say for certain.

However, I will have no children with her, I've seen to that, so if she should decide to betray me, she's off the team, forever.
Posted By: chrisner Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 09:10 PM
Originally Posted by Tom2010
Hi chrisner,

Very interesting subject.

I'm surprised that more guys are not taking this up, but oh well, perhaps they are too busy as I should be right now.

Anyway I would like to add my three cents. I think your example is more of adrenalin than testosterone..*s* It is true, men are more or less cultured to protect, react to aggression, and be competitive. Which guy would not stand up for his W if he saw someone seriosly trying to hit on her. Which baseball pitcher would not be eager to throw at the other team's batter if he saw that team's pitcher intentionally throwing at a batter on his own team.

I too have seen almost too many guys here continue to avoid and do all the wrong things after so much advice is given to them.

But, at least initially I think a guy's reaction is like this. In the case of your bear, let's say that somehow your wife gained the bear's trust so that he would not harm her, but SHE is the one who led that bear to your camp. I think most guys would be bewhilderd and confused at fist as I was to the point of not knowing how to react. Some might even wonder if they should shoot the bear OR the wife first. Most others would at least initially think that their wife ought to at least have the sense of obligation to end the affair. I believe these feelings are normal for a guy initialy because, unlike facing only the bear, now the guy is facing betrayal and the feeling of at least sense of rejection it may bring. That can not only cloud judgement, but it could dillute any amount of testosterone. I think that most guys do recover their courage after they've had time to get over the initial shock.

The other thing is, we really don't know the wife's true feelings in these cases and the reasons for them. That does NOT of course in any way justify an affair. However, that wife may have long ago lost respect for her H due to things lacking in the marriage. I feel that once a woman gets to that stage it is hard for anyone to win her back.

Again just my three cents.

Tom


All good points Tom. Certainly my examples and analogies are somewhat simplistic and not totally comparable to the complexities of betrayal.

And I certainly did not see the Russian Circus trained Kodiak bear scenario coming. I would shoot my ex-wife first by the way.

But those who come back day after day updating about every little text message but never lifting a finger to protect themselves or their children��it�s really tough to watch. The fear of their WWs they have is nearly palatable. And they have every excuse under the sun not to do anything for themselves. Arg.

Sometimes in their initial post they will spit out, �And I can�t ever expose because��..� just to try to preempt exposure advice from the forum.

Ranger�s are rigorously trained and equipped to assault the ambush. The betrayed wrecks that arrive here (and I was once one) are only starting their boot camp. But after a few weeks of great information and advice and still no signs of a man willing to protect himself, his children or fight for his wife�.? Let�s talk about her text activity last night instead? And yet they continue to declare they want their marriage?

Time to get out of the chopper boys.
Posted By: chrisner Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 09:12 PM
Quote
I'm re-married. But I wouldn't fight for my wife should she cheat. I've been down that road and won't go down it again.

I totally agree.
Posted By: Mulan Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 09:18 PM
Quote
Yet when I say this, feminists rail at me... "Don't you want to not have to depend on a man!?"

It's not that you "have to depend" on a man - or anyone else. Maybe both you and the man in your life can make things a little easier and more fun for both of you.

Crikey, life is tough enough as it is without having to go through it alone.

Helpless dependency is one thing. Having a partner who is there for you, while you're there for him, is a completely different thing.

Posted By: not2fun Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 09:19 PM
Originally Posted by MarriedForever
ITA. I've seen little 5'2, 120 lb women (coughcough) put up a bigger fight than some men. I don't understand it either.
rotflmao......yep, me too. And ironically, the OW's, especially single ones, are willing to battle the BW for the WH. They usually DON'T back down and slither away like most OM's. Go figure....... crazy

The most EMPOWERING thing I have ever done was stand up to OW and bring my A game to the table........ Imagine men how great your own SELF-RESPECT would grow if you were to do this......
Posted By: karmasrose Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 09:22 PM
I don't mean that I want to "depend" on a guy...but going through life with someone who can, say, take care of you if you are going through a debilitating illness, or something like that, is good. Or someone who will fight with you for no reason (I mean, everyone spoils for a good argument once in a while!).

Yet they, the feminists, don't see it that way, go figure.

And everyone wonders why 99% of my friends are guys.
Posted By: rwinger Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 09:28 PM
Quote
It just gets old sometimes having to watch Mel pass through the BH threads like a nurse trying to keep them alive with testosterone IV�s. And the patient keeps pulling out the needle.

This is funny Chrisner and dang if its not true.

been working so havent caught up on all replies -

I fall on the extreme other side and I thank God my sons intervened - I am sure there would have been a link to some news station with OM and my pics
Posted By: karmasrose Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 09:29 PM
I've just stopped visiting the threads of most BHs.

Like it's been said, one gets tired of having to pump testosterone into someone with a leak.
Quote
And ironically, the OW's, especially single ones, are willing to battle the BW for the WH. They usually DON'T back down and slither away like most OM's.

No, they don't...and they wind up looking even more foolish to everyone who knows what they've done.

Posted By: karmasrose Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 10:14 PM
And then they have the nerve to be indignant that they were not chosen. Has the BW no respect for THEM!?

/sarcasm
Posted By: Aphelion Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 10:20 PM
I don�t necessarily agree with the premise of this thread. I would like to offer a counter example.

Even before finding MB, I almost immediately went very dark Plan B. Asked WW to move out. Made her move out, actually.

After consulting with a child psychologist, I told DS everything, and I mean everything.

I confronted OM in person. In his own corner office. With a friend of mine who was a starting tackle at the Naval Academy standing sidewise in the doorway and picking his teeth with a chicken bone.

Oh, I researched him very thoroughly.

Even before finding MB, I exposed in a nuclear detonation to everyone who knew him, even remotely, within 100 miles. Even to his long ago ex-wife and all their grown children. I called his current wife and told her everything, more than once, even though she at first did not want to hear it. I kept after her until she now hates him.

I went to great pains and got him fired from his job (OK, to avoid getting fired he took early retirement a week before he was to be fired.)

I still plan to tell his children with his stbx current wife everything. I have it all written down for them - every sordid detail. An itemization of every unethical thing he has ever done, and everything they have ever lost because of him. When I am done his own children will hate him.

Call me Hamlet, but my long term plan is to leave him with nothing but eventual suicide.

Funny thing, though. After I drove him half way across the country with only what he could carry, after the dust settled, I discovered to my surprise I did not think it was worth it.

I didn�t want WW any more either. He can have her.

So am I a wimp too?

Or crazy?
Posted By: Tom2010 Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 10:23 PM
Hi again,

Yes, I know what you mean, and it has to be frustrating for the veterans here who know what they're talking about to see this. It also seems that some of the BH's are here for just a little while and then stop posting. You wonder what ever became of them.

I also think that, similar to Enlightened_Ex, there are alot of real world guys out there who do consider an affair a deal breaker, and who never consult on this board. They probably make up their own minds and simply go to D.

Thanks again for your topic.

Tom
Posted By: karmasrose Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 10:25 PM
No, Aph, your LB is just empty as heck. You're entitled to give up.
Posted By: Tom2010 Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 10:33 PM
The 'yes dear' is sort of funny because I have never ever used that phrase in all my marriage. It was usually 'yes honey' or just plain 'yea'. The reason, I heard that phrase so many times in my early years on family sitcoms like "Leave It To Beaver" that it got sickening.

I do know what you are saying tho.

On the other hand the 'yes dear' could be a delaying action on the part of H. If I am into a football or baseball game or a good movie I will say the 'yes dear' to whatever she says to me to gain more time.

Thanks,

Tom
Posted By: Mulan Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 10:40 PM
Quote
So am I a wimp too?

Not at all. You made a choice, because you made daggone sure you had a choice to make.

That's not even close to "wimp" or "crazy".

We're objecting to rolling over and taking abuse in hopes of making a WW love you. We're not objecting to walking away from a WW if you are sure that's the right thing for you.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 10:44 PM
Originally Posted by Aphelion
I didn�t want WW any more either. He can have her.

So am I a wimp too?

Or crazy?

I don't think either term accurately describes someone who STILL LIVES WITH HIS WAYWARD WIFE, who is still in contact with her OM years after D-Day and does nothing....but complain bitterly. That would be an insult to wimps.

Folks would be wise to note Aphelions registration date. As far as I know he has never gone into Plan B, AS PRESCRIBED BY MARRIAGE BUILDERS, for situations where the WS will not commit to recovery and will not end her affair.

Aph, doing all the things you did in PLAN A do not guarantee an end to the affair. As Dr Harley has stated before, Plan A only works to end the affair and bring about marital recovery in 15% of the cases.

But when it doesn't work, PLAN B is the next step. If the affair does not end and/or the WS will not commit to recovery, it is Plan B for a maximum of 2 years. If nothing changes, then DIVORCE is prescribed. You have never done a Plan B as prescribed by MB or you wouldn't still be here in the SAME position you were when you arrived 6 years ago.

As far as I am concerned, you are the poster boy for conflict avoiders. I point to YOU when I tell people this is their future if they don't follow this program.
Posted By: Aphelion Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 10:54 PM
You did't read very carefully.

Oh, her adultery ended years ago. The above plus Plan B killed it dead in six months.

The rest is all me, indeed.

Surprisingly, to me anyway, I just didn't care any more after it was all over.

Tried for these several years. But I still don't care any more.

eta: I do admit it was some fun raining consequences upon the head and posterior of OM for a long while though. WW I am just leaving to herself.
Posted By: karmasrose Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 10:55 PM
So why don't you divorce her and get on with your life?

Make HER have some consequences.
Posted By: Y3Boys Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 10:56 PM



Hey MF! I have met you and I will say right now if I were ever in a good bar fight I would want you on my side. [/quote]


LOL! MF is a good friend of mine and ITA! It doesn't have to just be a bar fight, she has been by my side on many occasions!
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 11:01 PM
Originally Posted by Aphelion
You did't read very carefully.

Oh, her adultery ended years ago. The above plus Plan B killed it dead in six months.

The rest is all me, indeed.

I believe you left out the part where you discovered your W was still in contact with her OM in recent years and has never committed to the recovery of your marriage.

I would suggest the reason you "don't care anymore" is because she NEVER DID.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 11:04 PM
Originally Posted by Aphelion
Tried for these several years. But I still don't care any more.

I would not care either if I tried my best for YEARS and my WS never got on board. I would call that settling for crumbs.

Of course, Dr Harley does not believe in sacrifice [one sided, unreciprocated giving] because it results in RESENTMENT. But you already knew that, right?
Posted By: Tom2010 Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 11:12 PM
Bet you never realized what your topic would produce..*s*

Have been in and out today because I am putting in my container garden today, but this is not only enlightening but entertaining, despite the solemn reality of adultery.

Right now tho I am struggling with the tomatoe, pepper, marigold container gardeing and the transplanting so I do need some advice from experienced gardeners. And, I am serious.

Thanks,

Tom
Posted By: Mark1952 Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 11:14 PM
Where's that post on "It's the fear" when I need it?

I hear about how folks won't expose, or how they are afraid they'll make things worse...

Wake up, dude!

Your wife is boinking another man and wants to leave you because of it. How much worse do you think you can make it?

ML, You've got mail...

Off to another meeting, you guys get to have all the fun...
Posted By: arkhawk1 Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 11:17 PM
I like posts like this to splash the cold water of reality in my face when I need it.

The natural tendency is to be nice, kind and accommodating, especially after being a strong, dominant husband for years was cited as one of the reasons for discontent.

Plus sometimes when you're trying to do a good Plan A and avoid love busters, the line between doing that and being a doormat gets a bit muddled. I know it shouldn't, but it did for me.

Of course I actually went too far the other way and called and threatened the OM.

It's nice to have a forum like this to get proven, no-nonsense advice (which doesn't always come from family and friends). I couldn't imagine trying to understand a WW and walk through this process otherwise.
Posted By: Aphelion Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/20/10 11:19 PM

Resentment � ill feeling; aggrieved feelings caused by a sense of having been badly treated

No.

Perhaps:

Ennui � boredom from lack of interest; weariness and dissatisfaction with life that results from a loss of interest or sense of excitement

Closer, but no cigar.

Hmm?

Languor - a pleasant feeling of weariness.

Still not exact.

M, any M, is not as important to me as I used to think M should be.

There are many, many, many more important things in my life now than my M, whether it be a good or a bad M.

Irrelevant -

Look it up.


I need to go now. I just thought the type-casting in this thread was interesting enough to comment on in the opposite.
Love the thread Chrisner. I don't read much anymore, but when I saw your name attached to the thread entitled "Assault the Ambush" I was intrigued...sneaky bugger.

The Z once told me, after I asked him to leave and I wanted a divorce, that I ruined his chance with Aimless due to my exposure at his work (OW#2--he claims she wasn't an OW cuz we were on a break) It had nothing to do with how wrong it was or anything...and how his coworkers looked down upon him...or how much of a donkey's patoot he felt like for hurting his wife and kid...nope...his true love failed because I told people about it. Riiiiight, that's it, that's the ticket.







Posted By: not2fun Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 02:07 AM
LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!!!'

{{{{{SL}}}}}

How the heck are ya?!!!!

Been thinking of you.....I sure have missed ya! Good to see ya tootsie.....but yet I understand. Hope things are settled for you.....

Love ya more than my luggage sweetpea.....Not
Posted By: MaiMai Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 12:20 PM
Originally Posted by Aphelion
So am I a wimp too?

Or crazy?

No to both questions.

You're calculating.
Posted By: KaylaAndy Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 12:51 PM
Originally Posted by MaiMai
Originally Posted by Aphelion
So am I a wimp too?

Or crazy?

No to both questions.

You're calculating.

Aph - don't blame MB for a failed recipe that you refused to follow. You did Plan FU NOT Plan B. That's okay as long as you embrace the Plan FU results that you got. But you post from a far too angry tone to convince me you enjoy the results. And you blame MB for that failure every chance you get. You followed the Aph Plan, not the Harley plan.

As for how to assault the ambush, This is the best example of how a MAN handles discovery and recovery.

Runnerboy - Excellent Ambush
Posted By: stillhere8126 Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 01:09 PM
I am bitter, I am angry.....I did what I could possibly do except for finding MB a few months after Dday...now when I say "I did what I could possibly do" I mean I didnt do a good job....The feelings were overwhelming to me, Partly because of my depression, partly was just plain complete devastation....

Okay, that being said....I did a half-a$$ed Plan B, I know I have pretty much ruined my chances at R....I did that, not MB, I truly believe in MB...I tell newbies I am the example of someone who didnt do a DARK PLAN B, to encourage them to do a DARK plan B.....MY point is I do not blame MB. I blame me.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 01:27 PM
Originally Posted by KaylaAndy
[

Aph - don't blame MB for a failed recipe that you refused to follow. You did Plan FU NOT Plan B. That's okay as long as you embrace the Plan FU results that you got. But you post from a far too angry tone to convince me you enjoy the results. And you blame MB for that failure every chance you get. You followed the Aph Plan, not the Harley plan.

You hit the nail on the head..
Posted By: maritalbliss Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 02:22 PM
Originally Posted by Enlightened_Ex
Let's be clear, as it appears you mis-understand.

My first marriage, I fought for my WW, and she got the divorce she wanted despite my fight for her, the marriage and the family. I got the house, she got the divorce and primary custody.

I'm re-married. But I wouldn't fight for my wife should she cheat. I've been down that road and won't go down it again. In fact, if she were to cheat, I'd probably never marry again. But one cannot say for certain.

However, I will have no children with her, I've seen to that, so if she should decide to betray me, she's off the team, forever.

I totally understand. I think I can safely say that I would do the same thing. My FWH knows that he got his one pass on this. If it ever happened again I probably would walk away, too. I think I've only got one betrayal experience within me to be able to handle.
Posted By: chrisner Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 04:02 PM
Originally Posted by Aphelion
I don�t necessarily agree with the premise of this thread. I would like to offer a counter example.

Even before finding MB, I almost immediately went very dark Plan B. Asked WW to move out. Made her move out, actually.

After consulting with a child psychologist, I told DS everything, and I mean everything.

I confronted OM in person. In his own corner office. With a friend of mine who was a starting tackle at the Naval Academy standing sidewise in the doorway and picking his teeth with a chicken bone.

Oh, I researched him very thoroughly.

Even before finding MB, I exposed in a nuclear detonation to everyone who knew him, even remotely, within 100 miles. Even to his long ago ex-wife and all their grown children. I called his current wife and told her everything, more than once, even though she at first did not want to hear it. I kept after her until she now hates him.

I went to great pains and got him fired from his job (OK, to avoid getting fired he took early retirement a week before he was to be fired.)

I still plan to tell his children with his stbx current wife everything. I have it all written down for them - every sordid detail. An itemization of every unethical thing he has ever done, and everything they have ever lost because of him. When I am done his own children will hate him.

Call me Hamlet, but my long term plan is to leave him with nothing but eventual suicide.

Funny thing, though. After I drove him half way across the country with only what he could carry, after the dust settled, I discovered to my surprise I did not think it was worth it.

I didn�t want WW any more either. He can have her.

So am I a wimp too?

Or crazy?


So if I am reading this post right in your own experience you did:

Dark Plan B � check
Told son � check
Nuclear exposure to all � check
Went all Wyatt Earp on OM and brought hell with you � check
OM fled in terror � check
Adultery over � check

So you are saying the MB plans worked just as advertised but you don�t recommend them or support the recommendation of them to others?

Posted By: chrisner Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 04:03 PM
Originally Posted by SL
I don't read much anymore, but when I saw your name attached to the thread entitled "Assault the Ambush" I was intrigued...sneaky bugger.


Hey SL! Good to hear from you. I bet you were just Googling Les Baer 1911 .45�s (I know you want one too) and ran back into Marriage Builders.

Take care.
Posted By: markos Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 04:07 PM
In the case of adultery, I don't understand what there is left to fear from your spouse. They have already committed the ultimate betrayal. How could it get any worse? If they are unrepentant, then it is actually better if they get mad and leave than stay and continue to torment you and the children. (Repentance, of course, would be better than either of those options.)

Before Marriage Builders, my response to adultery would've been to kick my wife to the street and fight like hell to get 100% custody of my children. Now I know that recovery after adultery is possible ... but I also know how to tell when it's not going to work (if she hasn't kicked the lover to the curb, implemented extreme precautions, and started the Marriage Builders program to restore love in the marriage) and when I therefore shouldn't bother.

What is there to be afraid of when you've already had your world shattered?
Posted By: chrisner Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 04:12 PM
My epiphany came the very day I discovered Marriage Builders about 3-weeks after D-Day. After reading for hours here I realized that in order to save my marriage I had to be willing to risk losing it.

Action implies risk. But only a plan and decisive action could give me any chance to save my marriage.

If you are ambushed and do nothing, you will die. If you take action to break up the ambush you are still at risk but you have a chance. You get a fighting chance.
It has helped me realize what nice guys do. The whole Im sorry for your affair I'll go arrange the flowers. This is totally my problem. It teaches assertiveness, not aggressiveness, or passiveness.

It is not manly to be aggressive and a bully, and it is not a attractive to be passive flower guy. My wife finds me sexy when I am assertive and do what I should do without hesitation, or waiting for someone else to do it for me.

For example an passive person who is short changed at a grocery store would say, "Oh, well I guess I'm out $0.50."
An aggressive man would go in and walk straight up to the cashier and yell for being short changed.
An Assertive man would go in, wait his turn and say, "There has been a mistake on my change see." show the cashier the receipt and get his money back.

An assertive man would face conflict, and not get taken out by it, or would they become overly aggressive.

What this worls lacks are assertive men who would respect a bear, but shoot it if it charges.
Posted By: stillhere8126 Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 04:38 PM
Originally Posted by markos
In the case of adultery, I don't understand what there is left to fear from your spouse. They have already committed the ultimate betrayal. How could it get any worse? If they are unrepentant, then it is actually better if they get mad and leave than stay and continue to torment you and the children. (Repentance, of course, would be better than either of those options.)

Before Marriage Builders, my response to adultery would've been to kick my wife to the street and fight like hell to get 100% custody of my children. Now I know that recovery after adultery is possible ... but I also know how to tell when it's not going to work (if she hasn't kicked the lover to the curb, implemented extreme precautions, and started the Marriage Builders program to restore love in the marriage) and when I therefore shouldn't bother.

What is there to be afraid of when you've already had your world shattered?


My automatic response was to cling on to WH, I couldnt deal with completely losing him. I mean what you are saying is absolutely logical, markos...but sometimes the BS is in a such a panic and are so blindsided, that logic is thrown out the window.
Posted By: stillhere8126 Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 04:43 PM
It was like my H was on life support and replaced with WH...but I couldnt face it and was clinging on to my H keeping him on life support, but was already gone(now WH). I couldnt face it, I just couldnt. It was waaayy to much for me.
Posted By: markos Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 05:07 PM
Originally Posted by Enlightened_Ex
Frankly, I ended up divorced from my WW, after exposure, etc. After reading Dr H's view, that if Joyce cheated, he'd divorce her, I agree.

My wife may HAVE been a great catch, but once someone decides an affair is the solution to the marriage problems, they lose that status.

I personally WILL NOT fight for a wayward wife. If she cannot see my value, then I'm better off without her. Plan D, immediate, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

I've done the try to win the WW back under SH's coaching and will NOT ever try it again.

I went so far as to get a vasectomy after my divorce so I wouldn't have any more children.

Life is just too valuable to be spent with someone who cannot honor her vows.

To me that's another totally valid way of standing up for yourself (and presumably your children).
Posted By: rprynne Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 05:10 PM
Too many people here mistake a man controlling his agression as fear. Men learn to control their agression in order to be successful. FWIW, success seems to make women swoon too.
Posted By: karmasrose Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 05:11 PM
Just be warned that vasectomies CAN reverse themselves over time....maybe go in for a checkup to make sure you're a harmless python instead of a venomous black mamba every once in a while.
Originally Posted by rprynne
Too many people here mistake a man controlling his agression as fear. Men learn to control their agression in order to be successful. FWIW, success seems to make women swoon too.

It not just controlling aggression, its becoming a passive doormat, and that does not lead to success. Here is a nice sliding scale for assertiveness.

doormat........take lead........Abusive jerk.

Best to be in the take lead part, and not be an abusive jerk about it.
Posted By: Pepperband Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 05:15 PM
Assertiveness combined WITH a war plan is not gender specific.

The actual war plan might be adjusted according to specifics, but there should be assertiveness before, during, and after adultery is discovered.

It a betrayed person needs their wayward spouse more than they need a healthy marriage, they usually fail where assertiveness is required.

Posted By: karmasrose Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 05:15 PM
There are MANY women who enjoy when a man take the lead. I happen to be one of them. (I'm just not a leader...)
Posted By: Gerkaguards Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 05:17 PM
Originally Posted by chrisner
If you are ambushed and do nothing, you will die. If you take action to break up the ambush you are still at risk but you have a chance. You get a fighting chance.

Technically (and tactically) speaking, you have to get out of the kill zone. If you remain in the kill zone and attempt to fight back, you will be destroyed.

Someone else can turn that into an MB analogy.
Posted By: chrisner Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 05:42 PM
Originally Posted by Gerkaguards
Originally Posted by chrisner
If you are ambushed and do nothing, you will die. If you take action to break up the ambush you are still at risk but you have a chance. You get a fighting chance.

Technically (and tactically) speaking, you have to get out of the kill zone. If you remain in the kill zone and attempt to fight back, you will be destroyed.

Someone else can turn that into an MB analogy.


Hey Gurka! How are you doing?

Considering the source I will defer to this however the term "assault the ambush" was widely used in Vietnam and from the Camp Lejeune 2008 USMC FMST Student Manual on Patrolling:

Immediate Action Drills - there are times when contact with the enemy is unexpected. For this we have immediate action drills.

Hasty Ambush - used when you see the enemy before being seen. You quickly move into a concealed area and engage the enemy or allow them to pass.

Danger Area - is where the patrol is vulnerable to the enemy observation and/or fire (roads, open areas).

Immediate Assault - used when you are caught in a near ambush. Turn in the direction of the ambush and assault the ambush.

Near Ambush (50 meters or less) - the killing zone is under heavy, highly concentrated, close range firing. Turn in the direction of the ambush, staying aligned, and assault through the ambush.

Far Ambush (Over 50 meters) - the killing zone is under very heavy, highly concentrated firing, but from a greater range. The range allows people in the killing zone to seek cover and return fire. Those members not caught in the kill zone will envelop the ambush.

I was wondering when someone was going to bring up what kind of ambush, not to mention that for a near ambush, you assault THROUGH the ambush, not just assault the ambush.
Posted By: barbiecat Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 06:28 PM
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by chrisner

I don't get it. Invader breaks into the house and he bravely defends his family. But an invader breaks into his marriage and his children's family and he turns French.. crazy

Do you watch the Simpsons? Homer called the French "Cheese eating surrender monkies!" I know that is not politically correct, but I about died!


uuuhum. and now back to decorum...
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 06:34 PM
Originally Posted by barbiecat
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by chrisner

I don't get it. Invader breaks into the house and he bravely defends his family. But an invader breaks into his marriage and his children's family and he turns French.. crazy

Do you watch the Simpsons? Homer called the French "Cheese eating surrender monkies!" I know that is not politically correct, but I about died!

rotflmao
Posted By: chrisner Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 06:38 PM
Man, you all are a tough crowd. Okay for the purposes of this thread we shall go with the USMC definition of a Near Ambush.


Originally Posted by Marine MCWP 3-11.2 Scouting and Patrolling
Near Ambush. In a near ambush, the killing zone is under very heavy, highly concentrated, close range fire. There is little time or space for members to maneuver or seek cover. The longer they remain in the killing zone, the greater the chance they will become casualties. Therefore, if members in the killing zone are attacked by a near ambush, they immediately assault without order or signal directly into the ambush position, occupy it, and continue the assault or break contact as directed.



They don't mention the pucker factor in that anywhere.

Not a job for cheese-eating surrender monkeys.
Posted By: Tawandabelle Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 06:40 PM
So I am assuming that the basic message here is that instead of cowering and shuddering and being afraid to upset, embarass, or make mad the wayward spouse, the answer is to stand up and take advice from someone who made his lifetime career saving marriages.

Just checking.
Posted By: Gerkaguards Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 07:06 PM
Yup, no matter how you look at it, the Marine Corps way or the right way, if you remain in the kill zone, even seeking cover, you're going to lose.
Posted By: stillhere8126 Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 07:09 PM
Originally Posted by lurioosi2
So I am assuming that the basic message here is that instead of cowering and shuddering and being afraid to upset, embarass, or make mad the wayward spouse, the answer is to stand up and take advice from someone who made his lifetime career saving marriages.

Just checking.

hurraydance2
Posted By: Tawandabelle Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 07:11 PM
I'm feisty today....not in much of a "but but but" or pick apart the analogy mood.
Posted By: Gerkaguards Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 07:12 PM
Also, the best response should no longer be referred to as a "tsunami of truth," but instead a "JDAM of truth."
Posted By: chrisner Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 07:18 PM
Quote
Also, the best response should no longer be referred to as a "tsunami of truth," but instead a "JDAM of truth."


I had to look that up. Cool. Increasing the IQ of dumb bombs.
Posted By: stillhere8126 Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 07:29 PM
Originally Posted by lurioosi2
I'm feisty today....not in much of a "but but but" or pick apart the analogy mood.

grin
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 07:34 PM
I call it opening up a can of Texas Whoop [censored]!! hurray

And leave your pistol in the car, fellas. smile
Posted By: stillhere8126 Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 07:35 PM
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
I call it opening up a can of Texas Whoop [censored]!! hurray

And leave your pistol in the car, fellas. smile


rotflmao Silly Texans.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 07:38 PM
Originally Posted by stillhere8126
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
I call it opening up a can of Texas Whoop [censored]!! hurray

And leave your pistol in the car, fellas. smile


rotflmao Silly Texans.

What do you silly yankees do with your pistols??? think
Posted By: black_raven Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 07:44 PM
Originally Posted by chrisner
It�s interesting how many men react to their wife�s adultery with such trepidation and fear. They simple don�t understand the dire emergency and threat adultery is to their marriage. It�s always about the fear of their wife. Fear of her anger. Fear of �pushing her further away�. Fear of losing their precious adultery stained marriage and perhaps if they do nothing it will all go away and maybe they won�t even get a disease.

In other critical situations most men will act quickly and decisively. A sort of intuitive understanding to �assault the ambush� mentality. Don�t hide behind a stump until they pick you off. Charge! Hey, they might get you anyway but at least you have a chance. Right?

For example you are up in Alaska and suddenly are confronted by a Kodiak bear. And he�s hungry. This also qualifies as a dire emergency and threat.

Fortunately you are carrying a .300 ultra magnum caliber Remington Model 700 BDL rifle with a 26 inch barrel and gloss walnut grips and your collection of trophies from NRA competitions in you den back home indicate you know how to use it.

The 1,400 lb. bear wipes away his drool and charges.

What-ya gonna do Bubba? Negotiate? Hide behind a stump? Not likely.

But when your 125 lb. adulterous wife tells you �If you (fill in the blank with an action that stands up to her adultery), I am going to stomp my feet and put on a super pout!�, you assume your fetal position on the floor of the guest room.

�You�re right honey. I�m sorry. I just don�t want to push you further away. I�ll be in the guest room if you need me for anything as soon as I'm done arranging the flowers I bought you.�

I don�t know guys. This gets embarrassing sometimes.

Where has all the testosterone gone?

Amen!!!
Posted By: markos Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 07:45 PM
Originally Posted by Mark1952
Your wife is boinking another man and wants to leave you because of it. How much worse do you think you can make it?

Exactly!
Posted By: RuncibleSpoon Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 08:04 PM
Originally Posted by Mark1952
Where's that post on "It's the fear" when I need it?

By star*fish on 03-29-2006:

"It is the fear that paralyzes you, sends blood rushing through your veins, sours your stomach, and interupts your sleep. It is the fear that gives away your power, your hope, and your forgiveness. It is fear that robs you of the active self and traps you in the role of patronizing enabler who will take them back at ANY cost...even if the price is too high. It is fear that keeps you from confronting and exposing. And fear that prevents you from enforcing your boundaries and having compassion for yourself.

Fear of abandonment.
Fear of rejection.
Fear of reaction....yours, theirs.
Fear of future...the unknown.
Fear of destitution and want.
Fear of failure.
Fear of losing.
Fear of loss.
Fear of solitude.
Fear of settling.
Fear of change.
Fear of lack of change.
Fear
Fear

Infidelity creates FEAR....and fear is crippling. Research shows us what we already know in our hearts....when we are fearful....we are unable to fire up the parts of our brains that "process" information on a logical, rational, spirtual level and create solutions that increase the odds for success in crises. When we are fearful....we don't use our neocortex....but instead, it is our limpic system which lights up our MRIs....our animal brains wired for "fight or flight".

There is no HOPE in our animal brains....because our indentity, our souls, our compassion....don't reside there. You are only capable of conflict or escape when you are there....so you must find a quiet place to deal with your fears so that you can confront, expose, do all the things that overcoming infidelity entails....all the things that happiness entails. You must value yourself as well as protect yourself, without fear of losing your WS or enforcing boundaries.....because if you don't....all your fears will be realized anyway.

MB is not designed to trap you in a marriage where your feelings are crushed and disrespected or the vows of marriage are meaningless. It's designed to help you overcome fear and give you hope that marriages CAN recover from infidelity....but you must be brave and be willing to risk losing your WS in order to regain trust, fidelity, security.

You must be willing to see beyond your pain and take logical and systematic steps to undermine the affair and increase the stability and security of your marriage. That takes courage above pain. It takes the peacefulness of knowing you are strong enough to lose a self indulgent and unrepentant spouse or recover with a flawed, but motivated one.

Don't let your fear take back a spouse who isn't ready to do the hard work recovery after infidelity entails. It is an invitation for misery.

If you don't believe you CAN survive without your WS....you cannot do what you must do to ensure success.

Stop being fearful of their threats...they are just excuses to leave or be selfish.

Stop being fearful of their reactions....their reactions arise from their guilt...not your boundaries.

Stop being fearful of taking a stand....it's the only way to gain respect or trust.

Stop being fearful of being alone.....until you can stand on your own and risk losing them, you will NEVER know if they remain with you by choice. And you will never know if you want them or you NEED them.

And if you need them....even if they return....you are in trouble chere."


Posted By: chrisner Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 08:05 PM
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
I call it opening up a can of Texas Whoop [censored]!! hurray

And leave your pistol in the car, fellas. smile

There�s no room for cheese eating surrender monkeys here!

Posted By: karmasrose Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 08:11 PM
The yankees keep their pistols in their waistbands.

And end up sterile. (Look it up, there was a World's Dumbest episode where a crook did that and paid the price. stickout )
Posted By: RIF Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 08:16 PM
Quote
...the Marine Corps way or the right way

Huh???

The Marine Corps way IS the right way! grin


Taking the "ambush" analogy a bit further...

The "enemy" is defined as the Affair. The WS, the OP, and anyone that's willing to assist with the A... are the 'troops' in the Affair, so when I say "kill", I'm NOT talking about killing anyone for all of you namby-pamby peacenicks out there.. wink

Just as the others have said, you've got to assault THROUGH the ambush. Assaulting through the ambush is accomplished by EXPOSING THE AFFAIR !

After you assult through the ambush and estblish fire superiority, the enemy will most likely regroup and try and conduct a hasty defense before going back on the offensive. During this phase of the battle, the enemy will use any means possible to conceal their movements and consolidate their forces.

This is the time to call up your reinforcements and other intel assets that can provide you with more information and help you develop your next course of action. Intel assets could be A close friend, or the OP's spouse as long as they are committed to killing the enemy!

The intent here is to gather as many assets that can assist you in locating, fixing (holding them in place so they can't run away. The intent here is to ISOLATE your WS from their unit/OP), then killing the enemy (the Affair).

Once you've killed the Affair, it's time to call in the PsyOps guys and gals... because even though the enemy is dead, your WS is still isolated out on the battlefield and hasn't totally surrendered yet. Your biggest PsyOps tool is a good Plan-A. But if you drop a few stray mortar rounds on your WS(Love Busters) then you'll most likely push them deeper under cover and they most likely will not surrender.

If you are conducting an effective PsyOps campaign, eventually, your WS will tire of wandering around the battlefield without any food or shelter (OP). Hopefully, they will want to come back to your side because they know that even though they were trying to kill you, that you've shown them that you will show them compassion (Plan-A).

When your WS surrenders, the hardest part is yet to come... make sure that you have some good ground rules for treating enemy combatants/your WS... The MB principles are a pretty good guide. It will take a lot of time and a lot of hard work from both of you, but if you are both committed to working through the "war", then it is possible to rebuild your M.

Semper Fi,

RIF






Posted By: chrisner Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 08:43 PM
Bravo RIF!

And as Gurka said, you must get out of the ambush kill zone (appeasement, fear and inaction) quickly. Your marriage will die there.

Put on the black duster and bring hell with you right to the adultery.
Originally Posted by chrisner
Quote
Also, the best response should no longer be referred to as a "tsunami of truth," but instead a "JDAM of truth."


I had to look that up. Cool. Increasing the IQ of dumb bombs.

You coulda just posted it, I had to look it up too. wink

[Joint Direct Attack Munition]
Posted By: Tawandabelle Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/21/10 09:26 PM
"namby pamby peacenicks"

I like that. I'd like to use that on a couple of my granola friends smile
Posted By: PSUBIKER Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/23/10 11:04 PM
Well, one reason why men are affraid of their 103 pound WW's is all the WW has to do is stroll into the courthouse and say "I'm Affraid" At this point, the WW has an 85% chance based on ZERO eveidence of:

1. Getting a restraining order on the BH
2. Getting temporary custody orders relegating the BH to an every other weekend dad
3. Getting temporary orders such that the BH has to pay to support the OM by proxy too. (don't believe this? it happened to me)

Like it or not, it is easy for a WW to paint her BH as controlling, angry,and jealous all in the name to protect the affair.
Posted By: KaylaAndy Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/23/10 11:12 PM
Unfortunately, PSU, as you well know, rolling over, playing dead or otherwise being cowardly doesn't improve your chances.

The only reason you prevailed is because after you first got rolled over on the first cry of "abuse" and moved out of your home, you REFUSED to roll over, play dead and otherwise not protect your interests. You kept a recorder on your person at all times when encountering her, you fought like crazy for the welfare of your kids. In other words, you assaulted the ambush and took cover! You're still fighting the @#$*%&^* who gets to spend more time with your kids than you do! And there is no doubt in my mind that you will win.

The men talked about in this thread can't seem to be found with a pulse to take these precautions and thus set themselves up for more attacks.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/24/10 12:39 AM
Originally Posted by PSUBIKER
Well, one reason why men are affraid of their 103 pound WW's is all the WW has to do is stroll into the courthouse and say "I'm Affraid" At this point, the WW has an 85% chance based on ZERO eveidence of:

Wouldn't that be a cue to stand up and fight, though? Why do these men run screaming from the room in gurlish tears when their wife says "you are controlling?" dramaqueen If men would stop running away with their skirts pulled up over their heads, maybe women would have second thoughts about pulling that crap.

A manipulator is going to have second thoughts if her target refuses to be manipulated. PSU, you stood up to your wife, that is all I am trying to get these guys to do. And I could use your help!
Posted By: chrisner Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/25/10 09:25 PM
I see we have a few guys out there milling aimlessly about the kill zone again today.

Good luck with that boys.
Posted By: now_what Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/25/10 09:30 PM
Yep, waffling here as to weather the objective is worthless. Maybe time to regroup and cut the losses and save the fight for another meaningful objective.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/25/10 09:31 PM
Originally Posted by chrisner
I see we have a few guys out there milling aimlessly about the kill zone again today.

rotflmao
Posted By: Pepperband Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/25/10 09:49 PM
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by chrisner
I see we have a few guys out there milling aimlessly about the kill zone again today.

rotflmao

Boys wearing a blindfold and a matching tutu.
grin

Mel, you finished being mad at me yet?
flirt
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/25/10 10:17 PM
Originally Posted by Pepperband
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by chrisner
I see we have a few guys out there milling aimlessly about the kill zone again today.

rotflmao

Boys wearing a blindfold and a matching tutu.
grin

Mel, you finished being mad at me yet?
flirt

Me mad?? nevah! flirt
Posted By: chrisner Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/27/10 07:49 PM
[Linked Image from globalsecurity.org]
Posted By: SugarCane Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/27/10 07:54 PM
Those symbols are RUDE!
Posted By: chrisner Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/27/10 08:03 PM
Originally Posted by SugarCane
Those symbols are RUDE!

They are very controlling and show NO respect for privacy.
Posted By: maritalbliss Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/27/10 08:04 PM
Originally Posted by SugarCane
Those symbols are RUDE!

EWWW!!! Don't turn your head sideways to look at them...
Posted By: chrisner Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/27/10 08:18 PM
Originally Posted by maritalbliss
Originally Posted by SugarCane
Those symbols are RUDE!

EWWW!!! Don't turn your head sideways to look at them...

sigh

Funny, no matter which direction I look at them I see a recon/cavalry squad being ambushed then assaulting said ambush with a recon/cavalry platoon in support.

sigh
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 05/27/10 08:20 PM
Is that the military ying and yang symbol?
Posted By: chrisner Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 07/30/10 05:16 AM
?
Posted By: bitbucket Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 08/16/10 03:15 PM
Bumped for SteveInJax
Posted By: chrisner Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/01/10 03:53 PM
(For those in the kill zone today)



Shakespeare's Henry V, Act III

Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more;
Or close the wall up with our English dead.
In peace there's nothing so becomes a man
As modest stillness and humility:
But when the blast of war blows in our ears,
Then imitate the action of the tiger;
Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood,
Disguise fair nature with hard-favour'd rage;
Then lend the eye a terrible aspect;

Posted By: jmwc95 Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/01/10 03:59 PM
I think your "assault the ambush" message is needed in EsoxIreland's thread.
Posted By: Pepperband Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/01/10 04:04 PM

Testosterone boys! Testosterone!
It ain�t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/01/10 04:06 PM
Is there a wimp convention in town?? crazy
Posted By: chrisner Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/01/10 04:24 PM
Too many of them are putting all their faith and hope in their lucky rocketship underpants.
Posted By: jmwc95 Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/01/10 04:25 PM
Originally Posted by chrisner
Too many of them are putting all their faith and hope in their lucky rocketship underpants.

In EsoxIreland's defense, he is British.
Posted By: EsoxIreland Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/01/10 04:51 PM
Originally Posted by jmwc95
Originally Posted by chrisner
Too many of them are putting all their faith and hope in their lucky rocketship underpants.

In EsoxIreland's defense, he is British.

Actually English, and licking my wounds from a full can of well deserved whoop-[censored]
Posted By: jmwc95 Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/01/10 05:57 PM
Originally Posted by EsoxIreland
Originally Posted by jmwc95
Originally Posted by chrisner
Too many of them are putting all their faith and hope in their lucky rocketship underpants.

In EsoxIreland's defense, he is British.

Actually English, and licking my wounds from a full can of well deserved whoop-[censored]

What's the difference? Isn't it like a square is a rectangle, but a rectangle isn't necessarily a square? In the US, we generally mean English when we say British.
Posted By: EsoxIreland Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/02/10 04:19 PM
As an expat I think you get more specific. I'm English, not Welsh or Scottish (and they're very proud of where they come from), but I'm an English republican (hate be "ruled" by a queen).
Posted By: HoseaAFSpouse Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/02/10 06:11 PM
For us nerdy men. (+2 nerd points if you recognize this)

LITANY AGAINST FEAR
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
Posted By: Vibrissa Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/02/10 06:23 PM
I'm a nerd, I accept it.

Would you like a little 'spice' with that fear?

Seriously love this thread, it should be bumped more often.
Posted By: Mulan Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/02/10 06:43 PM
Originally Posted by AFSpouse
For us nerdy men. (+2 nerd points if you recognize this)

LITANY AGAINST FEAR
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.


How many points do nerdy girls get?

"Tell me of your homeworld, Usul."
Posted By: themud Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/02/10 06:50 PM
I think what you have on this board are men who give a sh-- about their marriage, that's it in a nutshell.

I also know men who have gone looking for the OM with a bat and was successful in finding them and remeding the situation quite quickly. Still lost the marriage, but were not afraid of confrontation.

What you see here (on this board) are men who come here to NOT take a bat to someones legs for f---ing his wife! My mind goes both ways, as I'm sure most men on here do. I have a good friend who went to a poker game and had a funny feeling so he went home to find his wife's legs in the air on the couch. He told me he just said, "both of you, get your sh-- and get out". This is coming from someone who I have seen beat the sh-- out of someone twice his size. He also told me it was the worst thing he's ever felt. He could have easily grab the guy, beat him then turn on his wife. Is that tough enough? Or is it more humane to come to a place like this and try to figure out how to do something that is totally foreign to most of our (men) thinking.

Yes, men move out... that is because we are raised to turn the cheek when women abuse us.
We don't expose... because "we must have a 2" pecker to not be able to keep them out of some other guys bed"
We don't demand they stop... because scolding our wive's behavior is not usually on our radar or list of things and go back to #1 above- turn the other cheek when she flips! ... Come on take it like a man... but don't be mean, you could lose everything you've built for the last 15-20 yrs when she says you beat her for stopping her from hitting you.

Just like women's double standard at work, men have a double standard in the home front.
Couldn't have said it better mud!
Posted By: themud Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/02/10 07:04 PM
lookin4,

I'm telling you. Women seem to want opposing things out of men, something they think they've mastered, but haven't. You cannot be made of steel and be sensitive. It's like the superman movie. He had to stay superman or he had to get rid of it. Lois Lane wanted both, but then found out he couldn't be both. He ended up getting the crap kicked out of him.

There can definitely be variable on a scale, but don't expect both ends to meet. I guess we are just stupid, hairy things that wouldn't know how to shovel if we weren't taught what end to use.
There is a big difference between beating the sh*t out of OM or your WW and standing up for your M. Just like there is a big difference between letting WW walk all over you and standing up for your M.
Posted By: HoseaAFSpouse Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/02/10 07:20 PM
Honestly, I've found that the best movie that sums up how to be a man that a woman wants and needs is Crocodile Dundee. Silly, I know, but read in between the lines.

He never disrespects her.
He is always courteous and optimistic.
He saves her when she needs to be saved.
He lets her know in his eyes and words that she is beautiful.
He oozes confidence in all he does.
He has a big friggen knife. "That's not a knife....Now that's a knife."

Sure its one of those 80's comedy/romance/action flicks, but I find inspiration where I can.
Posted By: fight4life Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/02/10 07:37 PM
regarding confronting the OM...

in my 1st marriage I sent a letter to US Customs from the OM. In it I requested a permit to import cocaine. Not for distribution, I assured them, but just for my own personal addiction.

I also removed 2 lug nuts, loaded them with krazy glue, put them back on and flattened his tire. Then his wife had to come pick him up after a yoga class he was taking w/ my XW.

I applied for dozens of credit cards in his name and poured rotten eggs into the air intake of his new Audi. Did a couple of other things that there may be open files on somewhere.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/02/10 08:13 PM
Originally Posted by themud
I'm telling you. Women seem to want opposing things out of men, something they think they've mastered, but haven't. You cannot be made of steel and be sensitive. It's like the superman movie. He had to stay superman or he had to get rid of it. Lois Lane wanted both, but then found out he couldn't be both. He ended up getting the crap kicked out of him.

ok, themud, I will tell you what we want. We want a man who is kind, sensitive and affectionate but...............WHO IS MAN ENOUGH TO PUT US IN OUR PLACE WHEN WE NEED IT. If you let us run over you we will hate you for being a doormat.

The problem with the men who come on the forum is that they are the opposite EXTREME of the guy who beats up the OM with a baseball bat. And extremes are not good.

What it takes is a man who respectfully and firmly and SANELY opens up a can of whoop [censored] on the affair. A man who stands up fearlessly when his marriage and family are under assault.
It's not a man's job to put a woman in her place as you suggest. If a woman cannot be adult enough to be a good spouse, then she should admit such to her husband, give him everything and walk away.

I will not try to put someone in their place. I will decide if I am willing to put up with her crap or not, and if not, then I'll show her the door.

I want a partner, not someone I have to put in her place. If it ever comes down to having to put someone in her place, it's time for that relationship to end.

Life is too short to have to deal with someone who wants to test my boundaries. It's her job to stay in the place she agreed to when she said her vows.

Just like it's my job to honor my vows. If I ever have to rely on my wife to put me in my place, then I'm not a safe partner.

I usually agree with what you say, but this one is just plain silly.

Cut it out!
Posted By: themud Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/02/10 09:20 PM
Well put Mel.

The guys I am talking about are very sane. In all fairness a baseball bat is not extreme. It does drive me crazy when some guy is afraid to expose, WTF?
Posted By: themud Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/02/10 09:28 PM
What women call fighting for their M and what a man would call it, are in my opinion, different.

BH to OM: Please stop, this isn't good for my M.
BH to W: Please stop, I love you.

BH to OM: See this bat? The next time I hear that you even look in the same direction of my W, you will not see it but it will have an impact on your life.
BH to W: give me the keys, the phone, here is some clothes, go stay with OM. No? Go stay with mom or friend until you decide.

W comes home freaking out... ah, the POSOM told her. Time for OM to meet my little frien... Louisville Slugger.

Somewhere in between= female.

Englightened is right too. Want a daddy, go home to him.
Posted By: shinethrough Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/02/10 09:46 PM
I beat my FWW's Om and I'm not sorry! blush

All Blessings,
Jerry
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/02/10 09:58 PM
Originally Posted by Enlightened_Ex
It's not a man's job to put a woman in her place as you suggest. If a woman cannot be adult enough to be a good spouse, then she should admit such to her husband, give him everything and walk away..

You know what? It is his job to put her in her place if she is out of line. Just as it is MY JOB to put my H in his place if he violates my boundaries. It is the job of every person to protect his own boundaries if he wants to be respected.

What women DON'T respect is some man who allows her to run over him. If you aren't man enough to defend your boundaries, then you aren't worthy of respect!

So, knock it off!! grin
Posted By: Tom2010 Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/02/10 10:04 PM
Hi Melody,

I think that any person, faithful wives and wayward wives included, responds to a man who has the will to reveal his humility and vulnerability, stake his life on his good principles, and to defend his family and himself, as well as his community, when necessary. Sadly, and I guess for reasons of culture, personality, and spirituality, many men do not allow themselves to exhibit this. (My opinion does Not apply to the courageous men (and women) who serve in the military either in combat or peaceful zones).

Therefore, in terms of dealing with an affair, I would reject the following approach -

"Fill your hands, you [SOB]!" The Duke's reply

in favor of -

The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will.
Vince Lombardi

and

Dictionary is the only place that success comes before work. Hard work is the price we must pay for success. I think you can accomplish anything if you're willing to pay the price.
Vince Lombardi

I know I could be perceived as rather simple-minded or too black and white on this issue, but I do believe that husbands today do not want to do the work first (i.e., MB principles), and just expect that their wives Should respond right away. In addition, I feel that too many men do not have the will, or maybe better, the humility, to attempt to change themselves and fight for their wives. I include myself in this group of men based on my past behavior.

As opposed to John Wayne, I think that Vince Lombard, had he not chosen to be a football coach and guide the most famous team in the NFL, would have made a great marriage counselor.

Just my view.

Tom



R







Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/02/10 10:19 PM
Originally Posted by Tom2010
HiI think that any person, faithful wives and wayward wives included, responds to a man who has the will to reveal his humility and vulnerability, stake his life on his good principles, and to defend his family and himself, as well as his community, when necessary

Great post, Tom. I agree ...
Quote
You know what? It is his job to put her in her place if she is out of line. Just as it is MY JOB to put my H in his place if he violates my boundaries. It is the job of every person to protect his own boundaries if he wants to be respected.

What women DON'T respect is some man who allows her to run over him. If you aren't man enough to defend your boundaries, then you aren't worthy of respect!

So, knock it off!!

Tooooootally agree with Mel on this one. It IS your responsibility as a husband to point out when your wife is crossing the line and vice versa. I don't believe we say anything about reading minds when we say our vows.
Posted By: MelodyLane worth repeating! - 09/02/10 10:58 PM
Originally Posted by chrisner
I love this one. Mel has used it before.





Guys, practice this at home in front of the mirror. You can even wear the cool duster if you must.
Posted By: Tom2010 Re: worth repeating! - 09/02/10 11:47 PM
Not to compete with, but to augment Melody's expression, I propose this:

Confidence is contagious. So is lack of confidence.
Vince Lombardi

It is sad that those who need this most, most likely do not even look here.

To be quite honest, the expressions on this thread should be made into a video or graphic presentation that every BH would need to view and agree to before his registration to post is accepted.

My quote, not Lombardi's: Life is too damn short to allow a gap between a husband and a wife.

In truth I am posting more now because of trying to help my son get on track and back to work.

Thanks,

Tom
Originally Posted by silentlucidity
Quote
You know what? It is his job to put her in her place if she is out of line. Just as it is MY JOB to put my H in his place if he violates my boundaries. It is the job of every person to protect his own boundaries if he wants to be respected.

What women DON'T respect is some man who allows her to run over him. If you aren't man enough to defend your boundaries, then you aren't worthy of respect!

So, knock it off!!

Tooooootally agree with Mel on this one. It IS your responsibility as a husband to point out when your wife is crossing the line and vice versa. I don't believe we say anything about reading minds when we say our vows.

It's one thing to point out the line. It's the job of the spouse crossing the line to make sure they are on the right side of that line.

It's not the job of anyone to put someone on the correct side of that line, vis-a-vie put someone in their place.

They are an adult, it's pretty clear in the vows that there is no shacking up with someone else. I shouldn't have to tell my spouse that it's unacceptable. That was made clear during the vows.

It's my job to remind them, but they ultimately have to "knock it off"

I can't do that for them. I can't put them in their place. I can only remind them of what place I find acceptable. If they no longer wish to honor that, then they are off the team, it's that simple.

They put themselves in whatever place they want. I decide if I'm willing to live with it or not.

Having suffered one unfaithful wife, there is no way I'd try to recover from a second wife crossing that well defined boundary. There will be no putting her in her place. She will already have done that should she choose to have an affair.

Ditto for things like love busters, meeting needs. It's my job to make it clear. But it's not my job to "make" her behave a certain way. One cannot make another behave a certain way.

I can state and enforce boundaries, but I cannot make them honor them. If they won't, then they are not a safe spouse and don't deserve to remain on the team. I will not live with someone who wants me to police their behavior. If they cannot or will not voluntarily correct love busting behavior, then I simply don't want to be around them, period.

So it's her job to honor the stated boundaries, not my job to act as some sort of parent and put her in her place if she chooses to ignore those boundaries.

My job is to decide if I'm going to remain in a relationship where those boundaries appear meaningless to someone who allegedly cares for me.
The reason I'm against the whole "put her in her place" is it is in fact, a DJ. It's not my job to decide where another adult human beings place might be. It's my job to decide if I'm willing to continue a relationship with that human being if she wants to stay in the place she's currently occupying.

A boundary is about what the one with the boundary is willing to do, tolerate, etc.

A boundary is not about changing the behavior of another, or stating what behavior they "should" have. As we've all learned, when we use the word "should" describing another, we are guilty of the DJ.

So I can say my ex-wife shouldn't have had her affair. Does that correct the situation. Probably not. So while we all may agree on a core set of values, we can never force those values on someone else.

I see "putting someone in their place" as trying to enforce our values on the behavior of another.

Notice, I never said one should not have boundaries. I simply disagree that we can or should put someone in their place. After all, it's not our job to decide their place.

It's our job to decide if we with to continue a relationship giving the place they currently occupy.

My answer in the case of an unfaithful wife is most decidedly, no!

I made sure I'll have no more children, so if I'm ever betrayed, I'm doing the Dr Harley, and will simply divorce her. Scorched Earth is my plan for infidelity. Expose the affair as I file for divorce.

I'd want to warn as many as I can about yet another person who is unwilling or unable to keep her vows.

I pray it never happens. But I'm mentally prepared should it happen to me again.

I made the mistake of trying to win back an unfaithful wife before. I did the plan A, I did the exposure, and while I feel good about trying to do the right thing, I simply will never try it again.

If someone doesn't respect me enough to honor that clear vow, then I'm not going to try to earn her respect while she's in an affair. She'll have to respect me as her ex-husband, because I sure as heaven above will not be her husband any longer than I legally need be.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/03/10 01:05 PM
Originally Posted by Enlightened_Ex
[I can't do that for them. I can't put them in their place. I can only remind them of what place I find acceptable. If they no longer wish to honor that, then they are off the team, it's that simple.

I disagree. If I am doing something destructive and dangerous, I fully expect my spouse to put me in my place if need be. What I mean by putting someone in their place is enforcing firm boundaries and not protecting me from the natural consequences of that behavior. For example, the reason I stopped drinking 25 years ago is because my XH had the nads to give me an ultimatum: stop drinking or get out. He drove me to my AA first meetings and sat in the parking lot. If he had not done that - put me in my place - then I wouldn't have got some much needed help back then.

Sure, I could have refused and left, but I would have never done this if he hadn't put his foot down.

That is what women want. They don't want some wussy who allows her to run over him. That is disgusting.
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by Enlightened_Ex
[I can't do that for them. I can't put them in their place. I can only remind them of what place I find acceptable. If they no longer wish to honor that, then they are off the team, it's that simple.

I disagree. If I am doing something destructive and dangerous, I fully expect my spouse to put me in my place if need be. What I mean by putting someone in their place is enforcing firm boundaries and not protecting me from the natural consequences of that behavior. For example, the reason I stopped drinking 25 years ago is because my XH had the nads to give me an ultimatum: stop drinking or get out. He drove me to my AA first meetings and sat in the parking lot. If he had not done that - put me in my place - then I wouldn't have got some much needed help back then.

Sure, I could have refused and left, but I would have never done this if he hadn't put his foot down.

That is what women want. They don't want some wussy who allows her to run over him. That is disgusting.

He didn't put you in your place. He said he wouldn't put up with it. He wasn't willing to live with a wife who was an active drunk.

He was willing to help her recover.

But he didn't put you in your place, he said where he would be based on what you chose.

Never once did I suggest anyone allow themselves to be run over.

What I did say was that if someone is intent on crossing your boundaries, you simply either remove them, or yourself from the situation.

One cannot put another in their place. One can only decide if they are going to stay in their place with them, or kick them off the island, sort to speak.

Not once did I suggest or even hint at allowing oneself to be run-over. I said don't be there if someone keeps trying to run you over.

Only that person can decide which is more important, their bad behavior, or their spouse.

He gave you a choice. He didn't put you in your place. He did exactly what I'm suggesting.
Posted By: Vibrissa Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/03/10 02:35 PM
Then perhaps, this argument is merely semantic - what Mel calls 'putting in your place' EE calls 'having boundaries'.

The end result is the same.

No woman respects a man who allows her to walk all over him. But a woman expects a husband to meet and provide for her needs in a loving and caring way.

Really doesn't seem like a double standard to me.

Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/03/10 02:47 PM
Originally Posted by Enlightened_Ex
[He didn't put you in your place. He said he wouldn't put up with it. He wasn't willing to live with a wife who was an active drunk.

He was willing to help her recover.

But he didn't put you in your place, he said where he would be based on what you chose.

Now you are just arguing semantics. What my H did was effectively put me in my place. If he had not made an ultimatum I would have continued to abuse him. THAT is what I call putting one in her place.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/14/11 05:18 PM
We have a lot of betrayed husbands who are wandering around in the kill zone today who need to read this. Arm up and get out of the kill zone, men!!
Posted By: karmasrose Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/14/11 08:02 PM
Should I go bump my exposure thread again?
Posted By: maritalbliss Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/14/11 08:31 PM
Originally Posted by karmasrose
Should I go bump my exposure thread again?
I think it's a perfect time. smile
Posted By: PSUBIKER Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/16/11 01:23 AM
Originally Posted by chrisner
It�s interesting how many men react to their wife�s adultery with such trepidation and fear. They simple don�t understand the dire emergency and threat adultery is to their marriage. It�s always about the fear of their wife. Fear of her anger. Fear of �pushing her further away�. Fear of losing their precious adultery stained marriage and perhaps if they do nothing it will all go away and maybe they won�t even get a disease.

In other critical situations most men will act quickly and decisively. A sort of intuitive understanding to �assault the ambush� mentality. Don�t hide behind a stump until they pick you off. Charge! Hey, they might get you anyway but at least you have a chance. Right?

For example you are up in Alaska and suddenly are confronted by a Kodiak bear. And he�s hungry. This also qualifies as a dire emergency and threat.

Fortunately you are carrying a .300 ultra magnum caliber Remington Model 700 BDL rifle with a 26 inch barrel and gloss walnut grips and your collection of trophies from NRA competitions in you den back home indicate you know how to use it.

The 1,400 lb. bear wipes away his drool and charges.

What-ya gonna do Bubba? Negotiate? Hide behind a stump? Not likely.

But when your 125 lb. adulterous wife tells you �If you (fill in the blank with an action that stands up to her adultery), I am going to stomp my feet and put on a super pout!�, you assume your fetal position on the floor of the guest room.

�You�re right honey. I�m sorry. I just don�t want to push you further away. I�ll be in the guest room if you need me for anything as soon as I'm done arranging the flowers I bought you.�

I don�t know guys. This gets embarrassing sometimes.

Where has all the testosterone gone?

Here's why - all a woman has to do is utter the six magic words and she can:
- get her BH thrown out of the house
- get sole custody of the kids
- have BH lose his job (law enforcement, military)
- have financially crippling support orders put in place
- move OM in and by proxy have BH support OM.

The six magic words? "I am affraid of my husband" This is usually followed by " he is a raving, jeleous, controlling lunatic and will kill me at first opportunity"

This is in the first chapter of the WW handbook. IMHO, because of the potential legal troubles because of our insane domestic violence laws, BH need to tread very carefully when dealing with a WW.
Posted By: karmasrose Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/16/11 02:39 AM
And that includes having a recorder on the BHs person at all times.
Posted By: EverAfter2010 Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/16/11 02:50 AM
You must THINK when you are engaged in a situation where there is somebody possibly going to file false charges to move you out of the way. Heck my xwh did this to me. I had to constantly watch my back with him.

Here is who you must be. This guy.
[Linked Image from the-biomatrix.net] This awesomely cool guy who is not afraid of a wayward or a posom (or posow, which I pronounce po sow, as in poor pig).

James Bond. James uses the latest gadgetry to get intel on his enemy (the affair and the posom). He would not hesitate to use a measely eblaster or var. He would consider that minimal and not bat an eye to do it. He would get every bit of keylogging information he could and more!

James also is one who could melt the heart of a ww because HE is a manly guy who STANDS UP FOR WHAT HE BELIEVES IN. If he is on a mission, HE COMPLETES THE MISSION. Your mission? To KILL the affair! To end the affair.

James also never cries or begs or pleads when he is dealing with a woman. Usually a double agent spy type. Kinda like a ww huh? One who would sleep with him and then want to knock him off and then run away to the enemy and talk. Hmmm...sounds familiar. Nah, he would not ever cry or beg. He is COOL at all times. Knows how to engage a woman in conversation, knows how to meet emotional needs of the woman.

and when it comes to exposure? Killing the bad guy? He does it with ease and calm. He carefully plans his kill shots on the affair. He precisely aims and targets with exposure shots, all parties he needs to inform. The omw, family, friends, and employer (if need be) and also his ww's friends, family, and employer (if a work affair). He times it perfectly and EXECUTES it!

After he kills the affair with exposure, he returns home and greets his wife (aka double agent) and greets her with a kiss, and that knowing confident smile. He is confident. Always looks, smells, and appears attractive. She suddenly finds this overwhelmingly attractive.

In the end, even if the double agent ww learns of exposure, she will rant and rave, but in the end, who is to ever fight with James? She knows her man fought for her, and killed the bad guy (the affair).

So BE this guy!
Posted By: maritalbliss Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 09/16/11 03:41 AM
And you just can't bump this thread enough. Especially this week, for some reason.

GENTLEMEN! YOUR WAYWARD WIFE IS NOT GOING TO RESPECT YOU IF YOU MAKE IT EASY FOR HER TO KNOCK BOOTS WITH ANOTHER MAN!! STEP UP TO THE PLATE AND TAKE BACK YOUR WIFE AND MARRIAGE!!

Go to page one of this thread and begin reading. AND LEARN.
Posted By: Viper Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 02/08/12 02:33 PM
Originally Posted by chrisner
It�s interesting how many men react to their wife�s adultery with such trepidation and fear. They simple don�t understand the dire emergency and threat adultery is to their marriage. It�s always about the fear of their wife. Fear of her anger. Fear of �pushing her further away�. Fear of losing their precious adultery stained marriage and perhaps if they do nothing it will all go away and maybe they won�t even get a disease.

In other critical situations most men will act quickly and decisively. A sort of intuitive understanding to �assault the ambush� mentality. Don�t hide behind a stump until they pick you off. Charge! Hey, they might get you anyway but at least you have a chance. Right?

For example you are up in Alaska and suddenly are confronted by a Kodiak bear. And he�s hungry. This also qualifies as a dire emergency and threat.

Fortunately you are carrying a .300 ultra magnum caliber Remington Model 700 BDL rifle with a 26 inch barrel and gloss walnut grips and your collection of trophies from NRA competitions in you den back home indicate you know how to use it.

The 1,400 lb. bear wipes away his drool and charges.

What-ya gonna do Bubba? Negotiate? Hide behind a stump? Not likely.

But when your 125 lb. adulterous wife tells you �If you (fill in the blank with an action that stands up to her adultery), I am going to stomp my feet and put on a super pout!�, you assume your fetal position on the floor of the guest room.

�You�re right honey. I�m sorry. I just don�t want to push you further away. I�ll be in the guest room if you need me for anything as soon as I'm done arranging the flowers I bought you.�

I don�t know guys. This gets embarrassing sometimes.

Where has all the testosterone gone?

Took a while to find this thread, but bump for Stillwaiting. Not gonna let up on you and not gonna give up on you.

Happy Birthday
Posted By: Viper Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 12/01/12 04:33 PM
Bump for tdf
Posted By: black_raven Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 12/01/12 04:36 PM
BWs need to read this too. No BS should be a doormat.
Posted By: IHadEnough Re: Guys. Come On. Assault the Ambush. - 12/01/12 08:51 PM
Originally Posted by karmasrose
And that includes having a recorder on the BHs person at all times.

Men you need to make sure you follow this advice. As soon as you find out ALWAYS carry a Recorder on your Person. It could save your life as you know it.

My Brother told me his wife was crazy. She took off with his child. I sent him money to get a video camera and a recorder. I told him to always have it going.

His now Ex came home after taking his daughter out of state. She was acting strange and then she took his daughter some where. Later that day child services showed up at his house along with the police. They told him he was being investigated for molesting his daughter. He did not back down with the police or CS. He said he had proof he was innocent.

They told him to leave his home so he did. The recordings he made saved him. They found after doing tests on his daughter that he was innocent.

Don't shrink and be scared of WW. Carry protection and stand up for yourselves.

CARRY A RECORDER!!!
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